I'll never be enough|| Kairi Cosentino

2

(Mariana's pov)
I got back home and my Nona wasn't there thankfully. I went straight to my room and cried. I cried for ages thinking about how no- one loved me and how everyone in my life just leaves me for other people. Like my dad died and left me to be with god and hopefully I'll get to see him soon :( . And my mom left me for drugs and alcohol and all the friends I ever had have left me for 'better' people. I cried until I heard a knock on my door. I quickly wiped my eyes and walked down stairs. I opened the door and saw the last person I wanted to see.
Mariana: what are you doing here?
Kairi: h- have you been crying?
Mariana: what? No I was sleeping. I lied. I've always hated people seeing me cry and have them worry about me. I hate telling people how I feel and telling my problems because I know they won't understand and they probably won't care anyway.
Kairi: oh ok.
Mariana: so? What are you doing here?
Kairi: um I wanted to talk to you.
Mariana: talk? Or are you just going to hit me again? Honestly I've had enough with you and your friends. I've done nothing wrong to you and y'all still hit me over and over again. Please leave I don't want to be even more hurt than I already am. I tried to close the door and he blocked it with his foot.
Mariana: please leave I don't have the energy to get hurt anymore.
Kairi: I- I'm not going to hit you. I- I'm sorry for everything I've done. You won't forgive me I know it's just I've realised what I've done to you and I never meant to hurt you like I have been doing. I- um I'm really sorry and I will do anything to get you to forgive me. He looked into my eyes and I just wanted to cry again.
Mariana: I'll see. It's not going to be easy me forgiving you after all that you and your friends have done. I accept your apology but that doesn't mean I forgive you or trust you.
Kairi: I understand. Again I'm sorry. He said goodbye and walked away. I sighed in relief. Inside I was terrified that he was going to hit me again. Thank god he didn't! If he did I swear I would of just ended it right then and there.

•next day•
I woke up to my alarm. Ugh. I get up and put on some sweats and Air Forces. I left my hair down. It's naturally straight so I just give it a quick straighten just to look presentable for school. I get in my car and soon enough I'm at school. I take a deep breath and walk in. I keep my head down and put up my hood.
??: Mariana! I turn around and see Kairi standing there with his friends. My heart starts to beat fast. They walk towards me and I take a few steps back with tears forming in my eyes.
Kairi: what time are you coming today to tutor me?
Mariana: um idk what ever time you want ig.
Alejandro: ar- are you crying?
Mariana: huh? No I have dust in my eyes. I- I have to go. S-sorry. I quickly walk away and go to the restroom. I lock the door and stay there letting my tears run down my cheek.

(Kairi's pov)
Alejandro: did you talk to yesterday?
Kairi: yeh. She said she accepted my apology but doesn't forgive me or trust me.
Mattia: we need to do something to get her to trust us. I feel so bad for her after all we put her through.
Alejandro: talk to her again when she tutors you.
Kairi: I will. We walk to class and Mariana isn't there. I sit in my seat and half way through the lesson she walks in and looks like she had been crying.
Teacher: where have you been? You've missed half of the lesson already! Mariana looked up at the teacher so she could see that Mariana had been crying.
Mariana: um I'm sorry. I- I promise i- it won't happen again.
Teacher: ok it's fine sit down please. She sat next to me and kept her head down.
Kairi: we can do tutor straight after school if you want.
Mariana: mhm. I felt so bad. Fuck. Why did I do this to her? I don't even know why we started to hurt her in the first place. It was a stupid joke that me and the boys had and we took it to far. Obviously.

(Mariana's pov)
It was the end of school and I was walking to the class where I had to tutor Kairi. I did not want to be there but it's either that or get detention and disappoint my Nona even more than I do. I walk in and he's already there. He smiles at me. Honestly his smile is really cute. Wait what? No it isn't stop thinking that! I gave him a light smile and sat next to him. We where working and only talking if he needed help.
Kairi: how do you do question 5?
Mariana: your only on question 5?
Kairi: is that bad?
Mariana: yes! I'm almost finished.
Kairi: well that's why your tutoring me. Your meant to be the smart one!
Mariana: yeh yeh. Ok so you divide X by 3 and then times it by 10. (Idk I'm bad at maths irl)
Kairi: oh ok. Thank you.
Mariana: mhm.
Kairi: Can I ask you something?
Mariana: I guess
Kairi: why where you crying before class.
Mariana: I don't want to talk about it. It's not important anyway.
Kairi: it is important. You where crying and if it's because of me I'm truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Mariana: it's fine it wasn't you.
Kairi: oh ok. Can I ask you one more question?
Mariana: sure.
Kairi: what's question 6?
Mariana: kairiii.

(Kairi pov)
Mariana: kairiii. She said annoyed but in a joking way. She smiled and it was cute. It was nice to see her smile. 
Kairi: what I'm not as smart as you!
Mariana: ugh! You definitely need help! She says shaking her head and smiling slightly. I smiled at her as she looked at my work. When she looked back up we just stared at each other. I looked at her lips and leaned in to kiss her. She was shocked and softly kissed back before pulling away.
Mariana: um. I'm sorry. I- I have to go. S-sorry again. FUCK! Ugh she was slowly starting to trust me more and I go fuck it up!

5/21/2020- I kinda broke my phone and that's why I haven't been writing. Not that I'm actually posting this on this day but yeh :)
Btw most of the stuff I write in Mariana's pov is what I feel. Apart from my dad hasn't passed and I live with my mom and she isn't abusive. I never talk about my feeling so I'm just putting mostly everything I'm feeling into this. Not that ppl will read this but it's nice to let my feeling out ig.
Song~ listen to ' Stuck In A Dream by Lil Mosey (feat. Gunna)