Beautiful Sins [Ensemble Stars]

circles | ಥ

shu itsuki x reader

hello, lulu here but today's fanfic will include the following: self harm, blood. please read with caution!!

YOU WERE NOT PUT ON THIS EARTH TO TRY AND GET OFF IT, IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL, DEPRESSED, ANXIOUS, ANYTHING!!! PLEASE, SEEK HELP.

ily please read with caution.

~x~

And if I told you how this story ends
Would you change a step you take?
And if I could relive all of my days
I'd live them all the same
'Cause I'm scared, of all that I don't know
'Cause I want it all but all of it ain't gold
And I'm scared, but I know it's not for long
'Cause I'm learning what I should've long before

"haah.." Shu huffed loudly as he looked at his arms, sitting on the floor as he shook wildly on floor of his bedroom door, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Mumbling the words 'no' repeatedly as he regretted his decision, but he couldn't take what he had just done, staring at the blood that arose from his wrists as he began to cry out. His phone ringing loudly looking over at the caller he recognized the contact name of his girlfriend Y/n. picking up the phone as he answered her call, he breathed heavily as he choked on his cries "Y-Y/n..! please come...over!" he yelled as he dropped his phone crying hysterically as his head was down. Hearing her say "on my way" calmed him somewhat.

That all we are
Is a light into the darkness
And all we are
Is time that's counting down
And all we are
Is falling through the spaces in between
Endless flight
A lifetime in repeat
But I still find solace
When you say that you know how I feel when it's wrong
And we ain't been right for years

His heart felt as if it were about to explode, looking at the box cutter he had used not long ago he picked it up once more, his eyes swelled up with tears once again as he dropped it onto the floor, his hands going to his face as he covered it. Hearing the door opened he lifted his head up as he stared at the small figure of his girlfriend. Choking on his sobs as she walked over to him, kneeling down as she sat in between his legs. Shu instantly threw his bloodied arms around her as he let out a loud cry, hugging her tightly as he buried his face into her neck. "what have i done..?" Shu whispered, his breathing became unstable as he kept hugging her tightly. shaking while Y/n just sat there, patting his back as she let him cry. Her eyes closing as she leaned her head against his, her lips formed into a frown while hugging him even tighter. "I'm here Shu, don't worry i won't leave you." she whispered.

Let go, give these ghosts a new home
Let's bury our past and our fears and all these bones
Let's go, I should've seen it long before 'cause this is my life
I will not run in circles, ending where I start
So hold on to me, we'll burn out slowly
And feel our hearts leap to words we don't mean, love
Means nothing to me 'cause I don't know what it is
I'm just dying to be all that I've been dreaming of
And words betray me, contradict all I stand for
But I'm still learning
Yeah I'm still learning

"Don't leave me Y/n...please stay with me.." Shu whispered as he sobbed quietly "I will, don't worry." she mumbled as she kissed his forehead. Shu felt warm in her embrace, leaning back a bit as he laid on the floor with Y/n on top of him, his eyes closing as Y/n moved them to lay on their sides. Wiping his tears off with her thumb as Shu slowly cried himself to sleep. Watching him as the sun began setting, Y/n's stared at him for a bit before gently grabbing his arm and looking at it. Tears swelling in her eyes"i wish i could make all your problems disappear Shu.." she mumbled quietly as tears fell from her eyes, looking at Shu as she moved a bit to pull him into a embrace. Silently crying herself to sleep as well.