Five : meet me in the hallway
• in which Logan's Little Sister faces similar struggles as Demi, and with the held of Madison truly takes for granted the helps she's been provided
She was always by your side, she was known as your right hand man, your left hand-attached to your body basically. She was always beside you even when she wasn't physically in your presence, you both were never away from each other long, and that was your fault. You couldn't go more then an hour without her soft touch, she kept you sane when you felt yourself slipping into an unattainable version of the world. You'd always been one to wander away from the possible and fear the impossible, even when reassured you'd never face half the scenarios you replay in your head, you still believe that with any wrong move your life as well as everyone else's will be in danger. You fear that with one wrong move, you'll screw your entire future up.
Logan had always been your support system, she had to be. The both of you lost your father young, and through the stupidity of life you'd been forced together. She didn't have a choice but to be your older sister, and in times where even she struggled to find the meaning of life, you were their to hold her hand and remind her that with a sister she was never alone. You never wanted anyone to feel alone when you had the ability to provide them comfort and company. You didn't need to be physical to be physical.
The day had started out cold; your comforter found on the floor when your eyes finally peaked up and your hand shot out from beneath your head to smack the hard glass of your iPhone. The breeze coming through your window reminded you that although summer was nearly in full affect, it still cooled down in the night and brought a comforting breeze. Comforting when your beloved blanket shielded you from the bluntness of the breeze. You should have known from that moment on that fate would not be in your favor, but you still held your head up high. After all, you'd been going on as though nothing was wrong for years. You were the quiet, peppy girl that although kept to herself never had a bad day. You were the girl who kept her head in a book, and a smile on her face. The cartoonish figure who never experienced the negativity that adolescent life brings. The dancing hormones and discovering of an identity. What they didn't see was that behind the book, you're just as a mess as they are. You're worse. You're barely holding on by a thread as you lace up your converse and with tearful eyes push back every thought of death.
Some days you just want to die. You just want this all to end because when you start you just cant stop. What's the point of living and suffering when in the end you'll die and leave behind everything you worked so hard on? You'll leave it behind and somebody else will ruin it. Once you start you can't stop and then without meaning too, you end up over analyzing just what it means to live and what it means to be alive. They're different you've realized. You can live without being alive, that's why sadness and happiness are to be taken equally. You can't avoid either, and even if it feels like happiness never shines bright enough on cloudy beaches, its sprinkled into your life. It's up to you whether you chose to surrender to it or not.
"Y/N?" The bathroom door squeaks open, the voice instantly recognizable. Your sisters friend peaks her head in, she'd watched you run inside a few minutes ago through the window of her sixth period AP Chem class. She'd seen the rest of the world continue on through the window, but you never reappeared. She never got the chance to wave at you through the glass like she usually does when she sets her gaze on either you or Logan. "What happened?"
You'd never been particularly close to Madison despite her efforts to include you, she was your sisters friend, she wanted your sister, not you. She'd try to be their for you when she could, and without you know she'd promised Logan she would look after you. This was your first time in ages going through life without your sister by your side. She was always right next to you assuring you that everything was fine and that you were just over thinking. She had your back when you didn't have your own.
