The Periwinkle Affair

TPA 23: No Adoption

** Short update. Unedited.

They are really brothers. That's why... She stopped herself.

"I came back to take care of mom and make sure she gets everything that she needs. What I didn't know is that I am sending my brother to his final resting place. My plan was to situate my mom and my youngest brother then go back to the US since my life and my job was there at that time. A week before I left to go back to the states, my Mom ended her life. I was mad, furious, devastated and... and frustrated... all at the same time. I feel like I am about to explode, I was blaming myself for not being with her, for having so many misgivings, shortcomings. I neglected her subconsciously because I was neglected by her. I should have been there for her, you know. I should have been there for Vinny and for Aleck, too. But I was so hurt that she chose the life that she had and dragged me along with it. I should have stayed with her but I didn't. I chose to run away from it... from her." He bowed down and sniffed.

"I should have been with her and maybe if I did, I could have had the chance to send her to a mental facility to get treated. If I did stay, my mom shouldn't have suffered so much. Maybe we could have treated her bipolar and her tendency to harm herself not just to get attention but ending her life may not have happened. If I had stayed, Vinny should still be alive. And if I had stayed... You didn't get caught in the middle of it." His shoulder shook as he cried it out. Maine was listening to him intently and crying quietly with him and for him.

"Aling Alita, Molly's mom had been my mother's best friend since she moved to the housing area near the tenement, she had been my mother's confidant and crying shoulder. My mom is a great woman. She's kind and helpful. You know what, we didn't even know how her mental illness started." Alden took another deep breath. Maine is still staring at him quietly, listening and crying.

So many things are playing in her head, she can't help but cry. She may be upset with him, mind you, she is not mad at him, it's more like she's cut between annoyed and frustrated but more on the irritated side and that's what makes her upset with him.

"You see, I made a promise to my mother that I will take care of the person that ended my brother's life because subconsciously, I am blaming myself for not taking care of her. I made her a promise that I will make sure the person who did it will live a miserable life, like her, but I was wrong. I know that now." He gritted his teeth. Maine felt the anger and pain in every word he uttered. She wants to say something but she's too afraid to open her mouth.

"I have all the intentions to do everything in my power to bring that person to her knees and beg for my mercy. I have all the pain and hurt in my pocket to keep me fueled and execute my plans. But things changed. I don't know how and I don't know when, but every time I see her I get angrier and angrier not because she caused me to be angry but because I get too worried for her. Because... I had fallen for her." He continued on. He cleared his throat, and this time he wiped his tears.

"I have all the time and chances to get even with her, but I didn't. I couldn't." Looking her straight in the eye. "I can easily make it look like an accident, but for what? Just like the saying goes, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But the thing is, I am so taken by her that I can not hurt her physically. I can't hurt you, coz I hurt myself more." He chuckled between tears.

"I wasn't sure then if I was just angry or irate at her, but the harsh reality was I am so worried every time I see her wearing that fire suit. I get so concerned and distraught at the same time and I would get this queasy, nauseous feeling at the pit of my stomach every time she goes into a burning building or house, not because she's not good at what she does, because she is very good and I can't concentrate on what I need to do. What I feared most is that she may not come out alive, and that really makes me anxious and perturbed." He took another deep breath to clear his chest and paused for a while. He scooted a little towards her and reached for her hand, he gently held it and started playing with it.