when you do not speak
you notice the things about that you do.
i
quote my own poetry
because the metaphors i come up with,
the personifications of my fractured body,
and the strange relations between women and death,
thought of
at 1 in the morning,
when i felt emptier than usual
and was breathing in broken air,
meant more
than the lies
i constantly spread.
to preserve whatever i am
behind white walls,
and above linoleum floors,
and between twisted hallways.
because at least,
at 1 in the morning
i was acting like i would try to feel,
and wasn't saying it
just to stay out of a paper gown
