whenever i closed my eyes
i saw bright flashes of light
and i pondered
what it was
and figured
it was my heart
whispering
to my brain
to nudge my heart
into keeping going
in morse code
and all i wanted
was for someone
to tap it out
with their fingers
on my back
when i was stuck
between bleary sleep
and bleary wakefulness
with just enough
body heat
to return the feeling
to my heart
and limbs
and cut through
the sandbags on my mind
and breathe
down my neck
just enough
that it would
stir my lungs
into the mindset
that breathing
was not useless
and enough skin
to keep my eyes closed
and not want
to keep them closed
forever
during the day
because maybe then
just for once
i would be able
to tape my broken pieces
back together
then glue them
and stay together
because maybe then
it would be
for myself
