∞CASSIDY☼
Mrs. Zhang walked towards me a huge motherly smile on her face, slender arms wide open.
I blinked once.
Twice.
Took a step back, grabbed her right hand and shook it instead. Relief flowing through me instantly from the big contact I managed to dodge.
"Thank you so much for helping me with my speech," I said, not letting go of her hand, trying to put in as much enthusiasm as I can in my icy palm. "And for everything, Mrs. Zhang."
Am I supposed to say more? I mean, she is the principal but we'll be shaking hands same time tomorrow.
Her black eyes disappeared under the hoods of her lids as she smiled genuinely at me, not the bit slighted that I didn't run straight into her arms. "Sorry for keeping you in this late. After last year's incident, the PTA just wanted us to make sure that all the valedictorian's speeches are... polished."
Last year's valedictorian, Margaret Lawrence, tried to recruit people into a huge pyramid scam. Complete with a PowerPoint presentation and a dance number.
"It's all good," I smiled, trying to pull away but Mrs. Zhang started patting my hand. My hand was even colder than the gold wedding band that she wore.
"Congratulations again on getting into Stanford. We're all very proud of you. I've been rooting for you since day one," she told me, her smile reaching her eyes. I felt my throat constricting, my heart growing in size in my too small chest. All my emotions that I kept carefully contained in a glass beaker starts approaching the spout, any more of this and I'll spill over. It was not just for this moment. It's for all the times that she personally looked over my applications and allowed me to tag along with her family in the soup kitchen to add more 'dazzle' to my application. She was not obliged to do any of that. It feels like no amount of 'thank you's will ever be enough but at the same time, I cannot will my body to embrace her because if I do I might not be able to let go.
And I'm letting everything go today.
Words clogged my throat but they won't come out so I just nodded. My eyes burning. "Thank you," I managed to choke out.
Mrs. Zhang let go of my hand and grinned proudly at me. She glanced at the wall clock behind me and winked. "Please relay my congratulations to Mr. Russo too."
The dam that held my words opened and all the excuses spilled out. "We are not-- I am not-- I will just sign his yearbook."
Our principal just nodded like she knew something I didn't. Which I doubt. "The school closes in thirty minutes."
I left her office and started walking the hallway. It smelled of lemon disinfectant, the custodians end and start the day with spraying everything with yellow Lysol. Coming here earlier and going home later than everybody made my nostrils immune to the strong chemicals. My sneakers squeaked quietly in the freshly polished floors. This is the last time that I will walk here. No need to say goodbye to the gray painted lockers with the sticky knobs. I have cleared out all the contents of my locker yesterday. If I'm not giving the speech tomorrow, I would have went to Stanford a day early to look for a summer job.
This is really it.
Goodbye, Sherwood.
I opened the double doors of the library. The librarian was not in her usual seat by the door and the digital clock ticked overhead.
06:33 PM
Okay, then.
Just let me have five minutes.
