The day was still young and there was so much to do. I've never felt the need to get clothes for school, because what I have is good enough and I honestly never seem to care. But now that Joe likes me, he needs to see that I like him too. I can't be care free anymore with my outfits, Joe can't be embarrassed of me, I will not let that happen.
"Grandma, I'm going to the mall! Do you want to come with?" Secretly I was hoping she could come with me, because I don't want to go by myself. I got my purse ready and she got her keys. My grandma and I then headed off to the mall.
The first store we went to was forever 21, and after seeing a few things that I liked and purchased, we moved on to the next store. I picked up a few more items in tilly's and some other clothing pieces in Hollister. 200 dollars and 4 hours later, we went to the final store.
Grandma told me that Garage had clothing that was just my style, and she was right. A few cute shirts here and there and finally we were done picking stuff out. We then proceeded to check out. The man at the cash register was strange. His hair was greasy and he smelled like he hasn't had access to a shower in weeks. But still, I put my clothing up on the counter.
I looked over at Grandma and she had a strange look on her face. I just imagined it was because the price oof my shirts had been skyrocketting. However, she was staring at the man. I knew he was strange, however the by the look on her face, I knew she knew him somehow. I decided to look at his nametag, because maybe I'd met him once or twice in my life. In very small print, the tag said Ben. I could not believe my eyes this was the asshole who made me. I had no intention of going in Garage, and I had a feeling my Grandma was scheeming against me.
"Oh hello Benjamin! How have you been?" my grandma said, trying to make me start a conversation with him. He stared at Gammy and then gave me a strange nod. He knew my Grandma, but he didnt know me. I had a feeling, that that was all about to change. "Oh hello Linda! Who is this?" He pointed at me with his shaky witch finger. "That is your daughter, 17 years later! This is Rowan Elizabeth."
His facial expression seemed to change. He looked like he was going to reach over the counter and hug me, and that's totally not gonna happen. "Yes, this lovely hell of a life is what you created for me dumbass" He looked extremely confused. "How is Jennifer?" he said expecting there to be an amazing angelic answer. "In rehab and abusive thanks to you." he seemed shocked.
"I never wanted to meet you! You are the reason for my existance! You made my mom start doing illegal things, you sexually assulted her. You are the reason I have a horrible life story to tell. You don't love me, you never wanted me, you didnt even know I existed. You probably were both planning to have an abortion, but left her before you made a final desicion! I hate you so much. You smell like drugs too. Go check yourself into rehab, and stay out of my life you idiot!" I tried not to raise my voice but it just kinda happened that way.
I don't think I'll ever regret saying those words to Ben as long as I'm alive. And I'm totally sure he hasnt regretted raping my mom, and created such a sucky life for me. I ripped the bag out of my hand and left the store. Why would Grandma do that to me? She's known for my whole life I never wanted to meet that dickhead. She thought it would help me start to appreciate him in some type of way, but honestly my hatred for him has grown so much. More hatred then I can handle.
