Iridescence

Time

There's always more time, isn't there? We're always so confident in the idea of doing things tomorrow or doing things later. We're always investing towards a later time. Why is that we put so much faith in tomorrow? Retirement, Education, so on and so forth are all investments we put in hoping it will pay off tomorrow, when we have no idea whether we will wake up to see this tomorrow.

I almost pounced on my phone when it rang. I fumbled with it, almost dropping it, trying to pick up the call.

"Hello."

Silence

"Is anyone there?"

•

"Hello Zavian."

Despite the fact that Zavian was the name I answered to growing up, it was weird to hear the name again after so long.

"Hello Jewel."

"Who would've thought we'd run into each other again huh? Funny how fate works"

"Funny indeed. You seemed busy earlier, what brings you to New York anyways?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I came looking for you?"

My watch detected an unusually high pulse rate.

"Hahaha, you've always been the humorous one. I've missed this."

"Then why did you never reach out?"

"I - I don't know, I'm sorry. I just got- caught up with things here I suppose."

"Are you trying to convince me or convince yourself."

I couldn't form a response in my head to that. She continued to speak.

"Anyways, about lunch tomorrow. I'll meet you at le exquis at exactly 1:30. Don't be late."

"Yes ma'am."

I could hear her laughing through the phone. Butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't felt this in ages.

"Well, goodnight Zavian, I need some rest."

"Goodnight Jewel, sweet dreams."

Beep.

Did that just happen? I couldn't believe any of this. It was well past midnight and I was still up. I was still registering what happened.

Then why did you never reach out?

I was scared. I didn't know what to say. How to say it. All these emotions were fairly new to me. I hadn't felt so much in years. I wondered what would happen if I had reached out. Would things be.. different?

Sigh.

Live life with no regrets was one of the things I dreamt of doing as a child. Despite what I had achieved, I definitely didn't achieve that life. The past 7 years have been one regret after another. Sure I had money. But my money couldn't buy me time, time that I already lost.

It was already 2 A.M. It had been a very long time since I stayed up this long. I thought back to my teenage years, when I couldn't dream of sleeping before midnight. It felt like I was thinking about a different person.

I tried to sleep. However, I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. I couldn't catch a wink.

I watched the clock tick. Around 3 A.M. I decided to read a book. Suffice to say, I was lost within the beauty of the novel. When I looked up at the clock again, it was already 7.

I decided to skip gym today, as I had no time anyways. I went into my closet to pull out my best tux. It was a special day after all.

I went into work with a smile on my face. My employees were surprised to see me like this. I only wore this tux for the most important meetings and hardly ever smiled. My branch manager came up to me and asked if he had missed an important meeting in the schedule. I smiled and said.