Sweet Surrender [18+]

s i x t e e n

SEX SCENE SPOILER! Just a quick warning for those who prefer to skip the steamy scenes.

"Be honest and apologize," Lauren muttered to herself as she walked across campus toward Josh's residential hall. "Solid advice, April."

Stuffing her gloved hands into the pocket of her gray pea coat, she cursed the cold November weather and picked up her pace. Lauren was unsuccessfully studying at the library when a text message from Mikey stated Josh had returned from brunch with his family. Even though she planned on being open and honest, Lauren had no idea exactly what she wanted to say besides, "I'm sorry."

She had overreacted. She had pushed her insecurities onto Josh's generous gesture. But the biggest error Lauren had made was unknowingly starting a fight to push him away because her feelings scared the fuck out of her. When she had chosen her dream over her ex-girlfriend, Jessica, Lauren had known deep down she made the correct decision even if she did second guess herself and break her own heart in the process.

Against all odds, if Lauren found herself in the same situation with Josh, would she still fight for her dream? Even the hypothetical question bothered her because it simply existed in her mind. But what bothered her even more was she didn't have answer. Lauren wanted to say "yes" without a single doubt in her mind, but she couldn't.

She loved Josh. Plain and simple. She loved how he gave her space during the week to work and study, knowing her time was limited to flirty texts. She loved the way his facial scruff tickled her hands whenever she cupped his face to kiss him. The very thought of him made her smile.

You can do this, Lauren thought, standing outside Josh's dorm room. Just be honest. Maybe tell him you love him. Maybe.

Before she could talk herself out of apologizing, she knocked firmly on the closed door and prayed Josh wasn't too terribly pissed at her.

When he opened the door, Josh didn't look surprised to see her, but he also didn't look furious. Dressed in red track pants and a gray long sleeve shirt, he looked tired and a little sad. As much as she wanted to wrap her arms around him and rest her head on his chest, Lauren took a deep breath and walked into the room as he stepped aside.

Should I ask about brunch? she thought nervously as Josh sat back in his wooden desk chair. No, just get to the point.

"I'm sorry," Lauren said quietly, sitting down on Mikey's desk chair.

His blue eyes showed no emotion as Josh watched her meticulously, amping up her anxiety.

"You were trying to help me," she continued, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "And I obviously overreacted."

Silence. No reaction. Just a stoic stare. Lauren felt her heart tighten with fear and wiped her sweaty palms on her black leggings.

"Josh," she said as her voice betrayed her with a small soft crack of emotion. "I'm just not used to people openly helping me like that, and it fucking scared me. I am so fucking sorry."

"Why did it scare you?" Josh finally asked quietly, crossing his arms over his chest and remaining emotionless.

Lauren looked at the floor and bit her lower lip to keep her emotions in check. "Because you think I'm helpless. That I can't take care of myself. Because I don't have everything you – "

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he exploded, abruptly standing up and pacing back and forth in front her. "This is honestly about money? Yes, my family has money, but we're not filthy rich. I got here with a football scholarship."

"I know that," Lauren replied unevenly, sensing the last of her strength disappearing. "It's not about money. It's about my fucking insecurities."