Porcelain Face

~14~

"You really scared me there, America."
Arthur quietly nibbles on a small laced tea cake that was pierced upon a shiny fork. Alfred wanted to shrink into his seat more than anything right now.
The British and Frenchman practically dragged him and Natalya to lunch. It was all for the purpose of answering the barrage of questions the two had.
Alfred was consumed in his own silence, only taking sips from his coffee cup every so often.
"I'm surprised you didn't gorge out," Francis pointed out. "You know I'm paying right? You're supposed to give me diabetes just by watching you eat."
America shook his head and decided to finally make direct eye contact with France. "I'm fine, I already ate this morning," Alfred assured, softly placing his cup back atop the table.
With an almost amused grin, Francis turned his attention to Natalya. "You sure did some work on him if he isn't hungry anymore," he chuckled.
Alfred felt himself sliding down against his chair, ready to slip under the table and scream with embarrassment.
Natalya didn't pay any attention to Francis, as she tapped Alfred on the shoulder.
"You should eat something," Natalya cooed, an entertained Francis sprouting out a hearty laugh.
Arthur rolled his eyes and hammered his elbow into France's gut. "My word, you have the manners of a child," Arthur scowled, dabbing ever so gentlemanly at his mouth with a napkin. "Oh please, I wasn't as bad as America used to be," France retorted, picking at his tilapia with a fork. Arthur gave him a defeated smile and returned his stare to Alfred. "You've come a long way, my boy," England assured. "You sure aren't as hyper and...er...feral as you once were."
America gave him just an acknowledged nod,  weaving a smile onto his lips. Arthur cleared his throat.
"Now, I need you to explain to me some holes in your story," England sighed.
Alfred turned to Natalya, knowing she was unaware of his phone calls with England during her stay. He pulled together the appropriate words and spoke.
"I've been helping Natalya express herself in much safer and healthier ways."
France eyed the two friends and proceeded to add to the questions.
"Are you two just friends?" France asked, a mischievous smile playing at his features.
Alfred immediately pushed out a shaky yes, only to talk at the same time as Natalya, who responded with a confident no.
Natalya gawked at Alfred, hurt swimming in her eyes. Alfred's cheeks turned red and he felt his fingers get tangled in his jacket.
"Erhm...I mean we are going as a date. I did promise Natalya just a date."
A gentle smile returned to her lips. Francis giggled. "Well, congratulations."
Arthur groaned and glared at Alfred. "But I thought you wanted nothing to do-."
Alfred threw a kick at Arthur from beneath the table. He didn't need Natalya knowing what he thought before...
Arthur slightly jumped in his seat, and angrily mumbled to himself.
America loudly cleared his throat. His chair felt more uncomfortable than ever. Not like it could match to how uncomfortable he felt right now in this situation.
Taking a loud and quite obnoxious slurp from his cup, Arthur carefully eyed America. "Does Russia know about any of this?"
Natalya read America's mind and shook her head.
Francis angrily snarled at England. "Well, who doesn't have manners now, huh Angleterre?"
England sighed and flung a palm to France's cheek. Francis mumbled an audible "ow", and rubbed his cheek.
"Well, either way you're in uncharted waters now," England informed. "You're gonna have to watch where you two go from now on. Russia is sure to have eyes everywhere."
Alfred nervously gulped, having a brief flashback to the Cold War, the fleets of spies and bloodshed giving him a brief headache.
"It's nothing we can't handle," Natalya assured, reaching for America's hand and passionately squeezing it.
His body shook as he tried to sheepishly squeeze back. France raised his eyebrow and focused his attention back to his food.
Alfred puffed out a small sigh and felt his insides stir.
He felt vulnerable. England having the upper hand, Natalya constantly being touchy with him, France's uncomfortable remarks.
Yet...Natalya's hand laying in his brought him surprising warmth. It was calming in a strange way. He couldn't figure out why. He pointed out her hand was warmer now, instead of its normal freezing temperature.
Perhaps that was it. Knowing that at least her hands were warmer now made Alfred feel he was and could make progress.
His brain stirred his confused thoughts round and around, until Alfred felt queasy.
"Could you...excuse me for a second, guys?" America asked, releasing Natalya's hand from his and jumping up from his seat. The two men, and his "friend", glanced up at him silently.
"S-sure lad. Is there a problem?" Arthur interrogated.
America shook his head and zoomed past the three and to his destination. He seized the doorknob and threw himself into the men's bathroom.
Stone flooring and the whir of the air conditioning made Alfred shiver.
Thoughts tumbled about, and his stomach lurched sickly.
Why did he let Belarus go along with him in that prank? Why did he agree to lunch with England?
Why did he let himself slip up and be open to Natalya in public?
Why did he let Natalya stay?....
America gripped his sides angrily and bolted into the nearest stall, kneeling in front of the toilet.
He felt as if he were churning up his insides, as he emptied hi stomach into the toilet.
Bile stung the back of his throat, acid gurgling in his stomach. Alfred dragged a sleeve across his mouth, coughing for a moment. He couldn't understand why he felt sick.
Why did he have to question himself like that? He knew why he complied to all of this. He was here to help Natalya the best he could. And he was making progress. He helped her smile, laugh, and live again.
He was doing his job just fine. But perhaps, he felt himself pushing the boundaries, and letting himself become too vulnerable to her. Sure, America felt he could trust Natalya, but he couldn't be vulnerable around her. It would leave an opening, and he could be entranced by her, or even be hurt by her. He couldn't be too careful...
With shaky legs, Alfred stood up and leaned against the stall wall.
No, he had a job to complete. He was going to thaw out Natalya, so she could finally breathe again without fear, without guilt of everything.
He had to just keep doing this. After he, he could hide his feelings away from her forever.
What feelings?
Alfred shook his head nervously. The feeling of his heart swelling at her smile, the feeling of smiling nonstop at her gentle yet sharp and sweet features?
He felt more lost and ever before. America exited the stall and reluctantly pushed open the bathroom door, back into the bustle of the café.
His skull buzzed with a dull pain, as America felt lightheaded and jittery. He directed himself back to the table, to surprisingly find the three deep in conversation, occasionally laughing. America couldn't believe it.
She was thriving.
"Oh yes, he broke the entire China tea set!" England chortled, as France humorously rolled his head. Natalya giggled. "What a rascal he was," she said happily. The three glanced up at America and gestured him to take his seat once again.
Alfred gave then a puzzled frown as he sat back down next to Natalya.
"W-what's going on?" America asked in an intrigued whisper.
"Arthur is telling us your baby stories," Natalya whispered back to him.
America choked on his breath and gawked at England. "That's pretty personal," Alfred hissed to Arthur.
England waved it off. "It's no harm at all. I'm just telling Belarus the fun ones!"
America slumped in his seat and tried to pull himself together.
Gently biting his lip, America's listened into England's conversation.
"He was such a fussy thing! He couldn't sit still, he always had to move about," Arthur projected, France delicately rolling his eyes.
Alfred suddenly felt a smile tug reluctantly on his features. He was that kind of kid. Always bored, always outside and about, always fussy to change.
He always had been stubborn like that...
"I'd always have to try and calm him down. Nothing worked, that is until the piano."
Those keys in a pearly white blur, and the distant major chords wafting against his ear.
"He'd sit next to me, and I'd play a little tune, and America would listen. Soon enough he caught on."
Those melancholy days drew his attention to the bright glint of a piano key. Alfred shifted his position and met the gleaming keys of a modest piano hid away at the corner of the cafe. The surface was a worn out white, time doing its job as the paint had faded. A small green vase sat atop it, a pair of drooping tulips and daisies hanging about, clinging to life.
Soon enough, England followed his gaze to the piano.
"Say now America, do you remember that one little song I taught you?" England asked, nostalgia swirling in each word.
America glanced back at England and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. What's it to ya?"
Without a moment to waste, Arthur slid up from his chair, and jogged to the other side of the table to yank Alfred from his seat. "You know you'll have to show Natalya what I'm talking about!" He sighed.
Alfred gave himself a bemused look and sighed. "What are you talking about Iggy?."
Arthur chuckled. "That song we used to play all the time before you went to bed."
Memories flooded his head, and Alfred felt overwhelmed. The room began to spin, and he could hear the echo of that damned haunted song. The song of his childhood and of his memories. The song at the edge of his war. His own war for independence.
"Why can't you play it, Iggy?!" Alfred retorted.
"Belarus wants to hear you play it, lad!"
Alfred turned a gentle red, figuring that Arthur told her about their little song while he was upchucking himself I'm the bathroom.
He was soon met with the pearly white and black keys of the piano. Panic rattled his bones, as he was gestured by England to seat himself in front of the piano.
He didn't want this. He didn't want this memory. He didn't want that feeling of touching the keys like he did way back then. Things changed, he wasn't a child.
Yet he wondered...
"Alone...at the edge of a universe humming a tune..."
His fingers pressed down on the keys, a soft soothing noise escaping from the piano.
"For merely dreaming we were snow."
America's hands shifted against the keys, hitting each one delicately, just as the sound was.
"A siren sounds like the goddess who promises endless apologies of paradise..."
The familiar sound of chit chat amongst the café was hushed, as if a hundred pair of eyes were glued onto his every move. His stomach lurched and he wanted to stop. He didn't for some reason. To this day, he never could figure out why.
"And only she can make it right." Alfred's fingers flew across the keys, sound filling the room in such a sweet sweet symphony.
"So things are different tonight"
He felt as if he were flying. He could touch the silk of the shy little clouds, and let the sun tickle his face and body with its orange hue.
As the room was silent, Alfred could hear life within the keys. Birds chirping, crickets chirping, a rushing stream, a passing breeze. An all too familiar noise. Those moments back in Britain...
Those summer nights and candle lights...that memory could only stick in his conscious as he felt himself abruptly stop.
Was...was he crying?
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Hey germs, holy shit I'm sorry I took too long to push this chapter out. It was originally supposed to be WAY longer but I'm gonna be busy for the next week or so. Band camp is finally kicking off and last evening was my first big rehearsal. So I'm order to prep for the season I'm gonna be focused on playing for band. THOUGH, I will be back with a very action packed chapter in about two weeks. So hold your breaths until then because finally Alfred is gonna get some feelings gkfkfkfkfkfkfk. Also yes to people who recognize the tune my man Alfred is playing YES, it is Dream Sweet in Sea Major. It's a wonderful song and I just wanted to reference it in this story to possibly promote it XD
I hope all is well with all of you, and you're all staying safe in this worldwide pandemic.
As always, ideas are encouraged and welcome in the comment section, so brainstorm your cutest or edgy ideas XD

-Jameson