The Queen's Admiral

Chapter 16: The Morning After

I crept back into the castle from the garden via the back doors of the kitchens to avoid any guests.  I could hear the ball was still going strong but I didn’t feel like socializing.   My head was filled with so many thoughts on the revelations of this night.   There were so many things I wanted to ask my aunt but I knew there wasn’t much of a chance to speak to her tonight.   Fortunately, I had an excuse not to appear in the ballroom as it was way past my usual bedtime.  I met Gerda, the elderly head of our household by the kitchen door and told her I was going up to bed.  She let me go without a fuss.  I knew she would relay my message to my parents so they would not worry. 

I changed for bed and lay down with the intent to sleep.  However, my mind kept me awake with memories of the conversation with Grand Pabbie after Admiral Westergard and I parted ways…

“How do you know Admiral Westergard, Grand Pabbie?” I asked when I returned to the grove and found the old troll waiting for me.  I sat down on a rock to be at his eye level.

“He’s been visiting me for quite some time now Fredrik.   Bulda met him by accident a year ago here in this very grove.  She and the other trolls sensed him to be in a rather troubled state and tried to cheer him up.  As you might imagine, he was a little overwhelmed by it all,” smiled Grand Pabbie.

I couldn’t help but grin at that.  I knew the trolls could be quite annoyingly intrusive.   

“Fortunately, I happened to be around and I sensed he needed someone to speak to.  It took him a while, but eventually he came to trust me as a confidante.  He has been visiting me here or in the Valley of the Living Rock whenever he can.”

“What do you talk about?”  I asked.  I hope he can shed some real light into the mysterious Admiral Westergard.

“I cannot reveal to you the details of our conversations Fredrik,” answered the old troll.  “For he said those things to me in confidence and I have to respect that.   What I can tell you is that he’s been through a lot in his life.”

“I’ve heard about some of them.  That he was stripped of his title as a prince then became a pirate and a slave.”

“Yes, but those scars are not the ones that run deepest.  Hans has been neglected since early childhood despite his status as a prince.  He experienced so little love in his life and that alone makes his existence a cruel one.   He is desperate to prove himself and find a place where he is useful that at times he appears ruthless.”

“I don’t know what to think of him.  I keep hearing so many good things he did from other people.  And just now, when he spoke to me, he almost convinced me of his justifications on why he tried to kill Aunt Elsa and deceived my mother.  Papa and Mama think he’s just trying to trick us again and I’m afraid they might be right.  Can I trust him?  Was Aunt Elsa right to trust him?”

Grand Pabbie shook his head.  “I cannot foresee the future nor can I glimpse what is in the hearts of men.  But I know this:  Hans has the potential to be good and I truly believe he has the best interests of Arendelle at heart.    Whether he has the common interests of you and your family though remains to be seen.  He could be Elsa’s greatest ally or her worst enemy.”

“What should I do then?”

“See both with your heart and your head Fredrik.  Keep in mind what you believe is for the common good even if it means sacrificing what you feel is safe.  That is all I can offer, my son.”

His answer was neither assuring nor satisfying but that was how trolls roll and I couldn’t expect anything clearer.   Grand Pabbie bid me good night after that and I knew there was nothing more I can get from him.  For now, what I knew was that I would continue to trust my aunt and my parents.  I vowed to protect them in any way.  It was with that resolve that I fell into unconsciousness.