Hide & Seek

The Name

First love. First love is great. Who was my first love? Not a classmate. Neither it was a neighbor or a movie star or a singer. It was just a silly name.
Nicholas.

My best friend one day came up with this name and said, "Like, Ariel, Cinderella and Rupanzel you will have a Nicholas."
I had laughed at that. That name she pulled up. Obsessed over for months. Becuase, the kind of girl she was- hopeless romantic. And must have turned out much more than that. She wanted to believe that some Nicholas was out there. Waiting for me. Looking for me. And I? I believed in her belief.

When I left Goa, Nicholas, his name etched on my heart. What could I do I was just a daft eight year old. That name had such a beautiful reminder of my reckless friend. And throughtout the years I realised I have fallen in love with him. It was stupid, though. Just the name. Frankly speaking, in the world of tens of boyfriends, twelve love interest, break-up, patch-up, moving on, finding someone; sardonic it felt falling for an imaginary person created out of the head of a most enthralling fantasy fangirl. I didn't even knew if he existed or if there was a Nicholas somewhere. As the time passed, with the name she had given me out of her romantic wisdom lingering by me brought back memories I couldn't live again, even a little of less circumstantial as to how it had been and was venturing to leave behind with the overwhelming consciousness that I would never return, and specifically an yearing for my best friend.
I spent years with the name. Ultimately, I knew there would be no yeild into a fruitless hope. I knew I wouldn't be around to meet him, I let go of the name.
Oh, boy, was I wrong.
I had laughed about it at times at the unwilling future which had no regard for me and my wishes. Again, that's what I thought.
Funny, that first love could be so prepossessing and yet intricate that we let go of it.

But the days I spent with this real Nicholas, I didn't know if he was my best friend's Nicholas, but these past days with him, I asked myself a question ; was she right all along?

My mother once told me: "If someone who loves you and believes in you. Believes that certains good things will hapen to you. It does. Its their belief under who's power the universe is force to bend. Its the power of love. Someone's belief in you will do better in a way you could never imagine."
I thought, while at it, was her belief made it happen? Was her power of her love for me that bent the universe?

I have no idea. But just like those days, I believed in her belief.
First love.
Some silly first love.
And when it comes back it brings everything you left behind. The pain. Good. Bad. Smiles. Love. And somehow, in the presence of this particular Nicholas William, I felt like everything was coming back, painful yet pleasing.
Finally.
For good.
First love is great.
And who hasn't have it yet, I say, "You better get one, like, now!"