Date Her Instead Vol. 2

Chapter Two: Childhood Friend Versus Present Friend

That same day, Kanako found herself feeling guilty for the way she had acted. "I totally just made things worse by leaving that note for her and leaving her behind this morning..." she thought. Of course, Kanako had no idea if Haruna had actually read her note or not, but going ahead of her without letting her know was a pretty clear sign that at the very least, Kanako was avoiding her.

"I know it's wrong, but I'm still kind of mad. I mean, is it really that big of a deal if I don't tell her about what I told Mi-chan?" The main reason Kanako had been so reluctant hadn't been because she had told Michi everything. If it was only that, she would've had no problem relaying that information to Haruna. However, it was the second part of the conversation that made Kanako hesitate. There was always the option of leaving that out, but that felt dishonest too.

Then of course there was another issue weighing on Kanako's mind. It was one that she thought about through the rest of her classes, all the way home and into the weekend. All it was was a singular, simple question, but it summed up everything that Kanako needed an answer to.

Was Michi right?

Would she be better off letting go of her feelings for Akio and giving up on repairing her friendship with Haruna? The thought of moving on from her crush had crossed her mind once before. In the beginning when it was pretty rough between Haruna and Kanako, Kanako had decided that if she had to choose between her feelings and being berated, then she'd choose the former. However, now that the situation had improved, Kanako found that question much harder to answer.

For someone who had gotten a sort of an epiphany that they were in love, perhaps the idea of letting go of those feelings was one that they could consider. But, for Kanako, who had been in love for as long as she could remember, it felt impossible. She could say it, sure, that she'd just forget and move on, but she knew it wasn't nearly that easy.

When Kanako had met Akio for the first time, it wasn't love at first sight, but after a few sights, it began to blossom. Kanako was still young at the time, so she hadn't known what exactly the feelings were that she was experiencing, but she knew that they were something special. She knew that those feelings were ones she should hold onto until she had a name for them. And, finally, in the early years of elementary school, she found that word: love.

It had come to her while on a class field trip. A couple of the girls around her were talking about who they each like in their classes. As Kanako had listened, she felt that the word "like" was too small. There had to be a much better word to describe how she felt. At the same time she had thought that, a girl next to her proclaimed that she loved some other boy.

That was it, Kanako had thought. Love. She was in love Akio. That's what her heart had been trying to tell her and finally she could listen. Once she had that knowledge, Kanako continued on with a sort of sense of purpose. Being so young, she didn't find the need to have any strong aspirations yet, but she did know that this, pursuing the boy she was growing up with, was certainly worth the effort she could put into it.

When Kanako had discovered the name for her feelings, she had also made another note to herself: she couldn't tell Haruna. The three of them played a lot together, and for some reason, Kanako got the feeling that if she told Haruna, those fun times would come to an end.

Considering it that way also brought Kanako to another painful realization. She couldn't tell Akio either, out of fear of their group's dynamic changing. So Kanako came to a decision. She wouldn't confess. She'd keep her feelings to herself and simply enjoy Akio's company. That would be enough.