Truth Hurts

Chapter 16 - Final Chapter

Chapter 16

Final Chapter

I have a little hope. Just a little. This was 3 months after that fight. My parents didn't even support me. Today was a family reunion. I didn't dress up. I just went with my jeans and a long sleeve. It was a party.

I was going to come out beside someone other than my therapist. Even then, she doesn't talk to me because she is no longer my therapist. Today was the big day, I'd either die or live their choice decides. I just lay in bed thinking of all the bad things that hadn't happened yet and all the bad things that had happened. I began to believe in religion, life was still shit yet I gave it a chance.

Time goes by as you cry

Happiness is shriveled every second

The end of this game is death

I'd been working on this poem since Quinn left I couldn't think of what to add. Life was meaningless. Afterward, I went to my cousin's house and just laid in bed over there as well. he couldn't comfort me because I did not let him. I didn't want to be rude but today wasn't the day, today was the day big plans were going to happen. It was a life or death situation and sure most life-or-death situations include the Russian Roulette or something but this was very serious of my mental health. It was killed or get killed in a way. Why was I even trying at this point? I'm just disappointed.

"Look, I don't care if you're gay or whatever--"

"Doesn't that affect your Christianity?"

"Look, you are like a brother and if no one likes you for it, don't kill yourself, please do it for me, not anyone else just me."

Welp shit, now I'm in it to win it. Yay...

How do people live knowing they are the opposite of what they think they are. It's just so annoying.

"Honey," my mom said, " we're going!"

.....life's terrible.....

Everything that has happened to me was, a mysterious force, it couldn't have been bad luck since it doesn't exist-- or does it..?

My life was worsening by the second, every bad thought kept coming in my mind, I keep thinking, "Oh! I'm getting way better! My mental health is amazing!"

When in reality i'm giving myself false hope.

I don't know, what to do... should I really end my life..?

Is this the correct way to go?

Am I the one in the wrong? I-I, i have just been trying to get friends, my whole life i've just been trying to fit in. be "cool".

I can't... huff, why should...I....
"Honey, we're ready for your big speech, so excited! Finnaly your growing out of that cocoon." My mom told me.

Cacoon? Really, well... here goes nothing...

"As most of y'all know, I have been struggling with my mental health.. I have been writing poems, to help.. And I wanted to share some.. And afterwards... share the truth... that i've been hiding...

My world has been despair

I have been going nowhere

All the progress i have made..

Has just been a total charade...

And.. well.. This is the special moment.....

I'm gay.

Thanks for listening everyone, that's all I have to say..." Ugh. Why? Why did I do it? Oh fuck! Someone's coming..

"You have balls to tell everyone you're satan"

I fake smiled.. After the party. Well my dad and mom were not happy.

"You're the biggest mistake i've had"

My mom, well she didn't say anything. Everyday, from that day, i've been ignored, insulted, and more. My life got worse. I'm tired of this stupid life.

I'm sorry for all the people who believed in me, i'm not strong, i'm a coward. Time to take the cowards way out.

"Hello?"

"Mom? But I shot my self"

"Thankfully you don't know how to die"

"How long have I been in a coma?"

"Long enough. Your dad left, Quinn moved. Everybody forgot you existed."

"Mom... I don't wanna continue, even with being invisible"

"Please.." she started crying.

"I just can't though"

"We can have a fresh start... since we moved as well..." Then she continued "Your brother has been waiting,,"

"All this time?"

"He's always loved you.."

"Thanks. For everything. This journey has taught me so much. And hurt me so much.."

"No worries. Also your dad has always been a wreck so don't worry."

"Biggest thing is, the truth hurts.."