Tired Of Waiting On You

Why Didn't You Stay?

I stormed outside. I stopped though, at the thought of the starry night sky. I looked up and sighed. Memories rushing their way through my head. Making me shed a few tears which I didn't even noticed, my face was emotionless. It just haunts me of memories I wish I could let go of already.

Moving on. By the time I got into my car I just couldn't stop being annoyed of all the calls I was getting, making my phone ring til I shut it off. Can't believe these dumb fucks actually let him in. What'd he do to deserve it, getting kicked out? How pitiful are these bastards. Or did he just suck them off til their inner hormone monsters left their souls. Dirtbags. I lost everything. Anthony O' Harris had it all and got everything. Yes as you can tell by his unoriginal name, he's rich. Making all those gold digging whores at school drool. Even girls who I were cool with fell for his scam. Then I had to help them like I helped Lily. Garbage. Even though I looked at it as shitty one night stands, I felt bad since they fell for him and would die to protect him. Lily was the only girl he was serious with I think. They started dating in the summer that led us into junior year when Lily was going into senior year. When he was a freshy and sophomore he pulled already 3/4 of the girls. Hell, even the Mar and them fell for him but they never hooked up with him. I didn't even know who he was til Lily and him got together. I couldn't give less of a crap of who he is.

I pulled up into the parking lot of my favorite hangout place that I go to almost 10 times every week. Barry's Weeds. Yes, a weed shop. I was close with everyone who worked there. I'd help out too most of the time when I was there besides hanging out. I got free weed and vapes and all that type of stuff there since I'm the one who helped out the most. I'd get paid even though I don't actually work here.

As I opened the door, making the bell ring, Barry (the owner) said, "Well isn't it one of my favorite customers and workers. Wassup San? It's almost 5a.m."

"Angry. Ain't going back to the Purp House tonight. I need sum to make me happy. Whatcha got Bar?" I asked as I was trying to shrugged off the angry and smile.

"Hmm. I needa clean up here but go in the back and ask Lanz. He's sorting the edible stand in the back, try and see which one will work for you" He said as he patted my back and going back to wiping off the counter.

I also loved this store because it's sorta like how the basement is. I don't really come over here with anyone because they all got their own dealers or something. Plus it's my own little thing that my besties don't know about. Everyone who worked here, including Bar, were around the same age as me. We all had grown up together and I helped them put the shop together. We all had parted ways in middle school. They all go to Canyon too, that's how I met them again in freshman year.

I walked through the short hallway filled with pictures. Then saw Lanz. Lanz' real name is actually Laurence Graves. He and I almost dated but it didn't feel right to either of us and we both stayed friends. We both don't even remember it sometimes.

"What's up Laurence", I said smirking 'cause he hates his first name since it's "too proper".

"Oh suck it Sandra", he laughed since he knew I hated my name too.

"I'm just playing Lanz. Bar said I could check out the edibles to see what could help me this time. I need something to make me happy", I explained to him.
He thought for a quick 10 seconds and looked for the edible on the display of beautiful and yummy weed infested snacks and candies.

He pulled out a pack of Stoner Fruities and said "Here. Since you like fruit snacks so much. Try these new fruit gummies we just got in yesterday. These are supposed to be very strong and tasty. They kick in after about 15 mins so you should be able to drive to the Purp House after you take one of em. There's a box of these you can take on the shelf by the fridge if you like em."

I responded as I took tried them, "Thanks Lanz. Also do y'all got the Naked drink in the fridge that I told y'all to get?"

"Yeah. We got hella. But anyways it's time for me to clock out. Peace San." He told me as he took of his name tag and into the locker room for employees.

"Peace", I responded, walking over to the fridge and shelf. I had a locker in the locker room too. I only store extra clothes, snacks, shoes, a bag and some other basic stuff in there.

After Lanz left, I went into the locker room with all my drinks and box of edibles. I opened my locker. Changed into the sweats, volleyball long-sleeved shirt, and crocs in there since I reeked of alcohol. I didn't know how I stunk of alcohol because I didn't drink any but everyone there did so that explains why. Then I took out the backpack I had in there and put dirty clothes, drinks and edibles in there and put on the backpack. I put my hair into a low bun and pulled out strands in the front as I walked out, said goodnight to Bar and got into my car.

Blasting music in my car as I vaped, I pulled up to a gas station, grabbed some snacks and was about to dip until I saw him. I completely froze and dropped all my stuff. I started picking it up and panicking. Of all places why did I have to see him here?! Worst timing. Then I saw him picking up my things.

I stood up with half of my stuff as did he. He looked at me, handing me my stuff and said "Hey San..." I couldn't push out any words but was able to just say "Rin" and nodded to him as a sign of saying hey. I then quickly walked to check out my stuff and dip. But unfortunately he was in front of my car.

Fuck. Can't he just leave me alone. He already proved that 7 months.

Rin, is the dude who finally broke me. Long story short, we were on and off for a year, he dated many girls during those "offs", one of the girls being Ki and his real name is Erin. He cheated on me in the final "on".

"What the fuck do you want dipshit? Here to pick up condoms to slip on and fuck another chick or nah?" I couldn't hold back the anger and said that 'cause he doesn't deserve no sweet talk. What did he expect? Me to fall at his feet, begging to get back together? Never again.

"I just wanted to talk.... Look-" he started but I cut him off, he acts like I want to listen to whatever side bullshit he's got to say.

"Why didn't you stay" I stated seriously. We stood there for a short moment til he said, "I was. You were my everythi-" I cut him off again.

"DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT BULLSHIT ASS SENTENCE RIN! AND "WAS"? WHY'D YOU DO IT?!"

"Because I- ..... I don't know."

I chuckled as tears came down my face. "You don't know? WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY LIKE YOU PROMISED?! And then you wanna go and lose your virginity to Dayanara! FUCK YOU! ..... I went to go tell you that I had a present for you that night. Had a whole plan set. Then I went to your house and your mom said you were out.... you didn't text me at all. All I find is you and Dayanara completely naked under bed sheets about to do it at a party...."

"I was-"

"DOES IT MATTER?! That you were drunk?! I WAITED FOR YOU THAT NIGHT AND GUESS WHAT?! YOU NEVER CAME AND I WENT TO THAT PARTY BECAUSE MAR SAID SHE SAW YOU! And you know what!" I pushed him out of my way and take off driving. Crying. My music blasting. Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood came on. I was crying. I barely ever cry. The last time I cried this bad was when he did the deed.

I pull up to Barry's Weeds. Popped open the box of edibles and chowed down on a whole pack of gummies. I started smiling. Then laughing. Then crying again. I was going insane. I just wanted him to love me like he said he did. There was this burning hole digging deeper into my heart. I wanted to burst just to see what it felt like when you go supernova like Lily but this was worse. He actually put it in another girl.....

While hitting and resting my head on my steering wheel, I wondered why didn't he stay as I cried more.