Family Secrets

Repressed Memory

It Had Only Been A Week Since Si'Mone Had Arrived At The Rehab Center. She Sat In The Empty Room And Stared At The Walls. The Rooms Were Nice, But It Was Something About The Way The Green And Yellow Theme Clashed That Didnt Sit Right With Her. She Hated It. She Knew It Was Gonna Be A Bumpy Trip, But She Had To Do What She Could To Get Back To Her Daughter. She Had Let Her Down Once Before And It Broke Her Heart Knowing That She Had Let Her Down Again. Si'Mone Snapped Out Of Her Thoughts As She Heard A Knock On Her Door.

"Yes? Come In." Monie Said As She Rearranged Her Pillows.

"Hello, Ms. Wilson,"

"Call Me Si'Mone," She Interrupted.

"I'm Sorry, Well Then Si'Mone We Are About To Start Group, If You Would Be So Kind As To Join Us."

Monie Had Been Attending A Class For The Last Three Days That Was Intended To Help Find The Source Behind Her Drug Problem. Today Was Her Day To Discuss And Talk About Her Issue. She Had Stopped And Started So Many Times, But The Focus Was On What Made Her Get Help Before. What Did She Encounter Or Go Through That Made Her Realize She Needed Help. As Si'Mone Sat Down In The Bright Yellow Chair, That Had Been Neatly Placed Into The Giant Circle, She Noticed A Few Unfamiliar Faces. The Group Had Grown Since She's Started. She Assumed Everyone Wanted To Express Their Stories About What Made Them Get Help. As More People Filled The Circle They Each Introduced Themselves. It Was Si'Mone's Turn.

"Hello, My Name Is Si'Mone, But Monie Will Do Fine. I'm Addicted To Heroin And Came Here, Under My Daughters Instructions, To Get Help."

"Tell Us Why You Want Help. I Read That Like A Few Others, You've Gone Through This Program Before, What Happened To Make You Realize That You Wanted To Better Yourself."

Monie Sat For A Minute. She Had NEVER Told Anyone About Why She Checked Herself In And Got Help Before, But She Knew That If She Wanted To Move Forward, She Had To Face The Demons Of Her Repressed Memories. She Cleared Her Throat And Began To Talk About That Frightful Morning.

***

As Monie Drove Down The Street, She Called Her Dealer To Make Sure He Was Going To Be At "The Spot". She Was On Her Way To Spend Her Last $20. Did She Know How She Was Going To Eat, No, She Only Cared About Getting High. It Had Been Her BestFriend For As Long As She Could Remember.

"Yeah You There?"

"I'm On My Way, I Had To Pick Up My Lil Partna." A Man Named Marco Replied.

"Okay. I'm Pulling In Now, Hurry Up With My Shit!"

Monie Hung Up The Phone And Rubbed Her Nose. She Pulled Down The Sun Visor In Her Old School 2004 Ford Taurus. She Had Gotten It From One Of The Guys She Used To Shoot Up With. Si'Mone Took A Comb Of Out Her Glove Compartment And Tried To Look More Presentable. She Knew Exactly Who Marco's "Lil Partna" Was And She Got Excited Every Time She Seen Him. She Watched Just As Marco's Car Pulled Into The Parking Lot. She Sat There And Waited For Him To Approach Her Car.

"Get In Baby, Monie's Got Something For You," Monie Said Rubbing Her Nose Even More As She Tried To Be Seductive.

Marco Got In And Handed Her The Heroin. Before He Could Say Anything She Was Putting It Between Her Thumb And Index Finger. She Snorted It Hard. She Looked Up At Him With Blood Shot Eyes And Aggressively Rubbed Her Nose Again.

"Yeah. That's That Good Good," She Said. "Why Don't You Have Your Lil Partna Come Over Here. Let Monie Teach Him A Few Things."

"Si'Mone You Know Damn Well He Aint On That With You, And I Wouldn't Even Let That Happen. You're too High. If You Was Sober You Wouldn't Even Begin To Think Like That. He A Lil Kid."

"Yeah But Every Boy Needs A Mama Right? Let Me Show Him How Good I Can Be."

Marco Looked At How Pitiful Si'Mone Was Being, And Shook His Head. He Knew This Was Gonna Be His Last Time Selling To Her, But Since His Partner Had Agreed To Take Over, He Knew He'd See Her Again. He Got Out The Car And Walked Back To His And Drove Off. Monie Sat There For A Few More Minutes, Letting The Heroin Seep Into Her System.

***

Si'Mone Began To Cry As She Continued To Recall The Events That Lead Up To Her Life Changing Moment. She Looked Around And Watched As Each Person Had Their Eyes Focused On Her. She Knew It Was Too Late To Stop, So She Continued To Speak.

***

"As I Drove Out Of The Parking Lot, I Continued To Head Down The Street. I Remembered Listening To The Radio And Getting Hype Over The Song That Had Came On. I Was So High And Into The Music I Hadn't Realized That I Ran A Red Light. Before I Could Stop, I Had Slammed Into The Side Of A Vehicle. The Crash Was Horrible. I Remember Looking Out My Window And Seeing A Young Boy Laying Through The Windshield And It Was An Older Woman Who Had Been Still In The Seat With Her Head Forced Back By The Airbag. I Was So Scared At That Moment, I Bagged My Car Up And Left The Scene. As I Quickly Drove Down The Road I Knew That I Had To Get Help. It Wasn't Until I Checked Myself Into The Rehabilitation Center That I Seen The Accident On The News. While I Watched I Couldn't Believe That I Had Done Something So Sinister. The Worst Part About It Wasn't That I Left The Scene, It Was That The Two People In The Vehicle Were My Son And His GrandMother."