Different Downton

Part 4

Having reached her room and nearly knocking down Carson, Mary closed the door and sat down on the sofa in front of the mirror. She frantically clutched a letter in her hands. Having calmed down a bit and assuming her almost usually arrogant appearance, Mary decided to re-read the letter again. Carefully her eyes ran along the lines, and in spite of her restraint and incredible coldness, she wept. The letter was written something like this: « Dear Mary, I am very sorry for what happened to us that night, I am very unpleasant because I behaved so incorrectly. I beg your pardon. I never thought of you in a different way, but now, having gone to London, I thought a lot about our relationship, and I realized that over the many years of acquaintance, I know not so much about you. Please answer this letter, tell me what you are doing, and how are all doing in the big house. How do you feel and what are you thinking lately? I look forward to seeing you, Matthew. »
Even such a short letter, Mary was either terrified or delighted. She sat staring at the paper for a long time, and constantly reread it. Undecided to write the answer immediately, she put the letter down on the dressing table, but then completely put it away in a book so that no one would read it. She never had time to have breakfast, however, not the first time. In the hope that they had not yet been removed from the table, Mary hurried back downstairs, after first putting the book into the drawer of the dressing table. Fortunately, breakfast was not over yet; Sybil and Robert were still sitting at the table, but Edith joined their company. Mary grimaced with displeasure at the sight of her middle sister, and after pouring coffee again, she sat down next to the younger one. -Mary, what was that?- asked Sybil curiously, she wanted to know everything at once, Mary frowned in displeasure. She wasn't going to spread her secrets like that, especially at the table, in the presence of father and Edith. For a moment, Mary wanted to be rude to her younger sister, for excessive curiosity, but, as always, restrained herself. With icy restraint, Mary replied: "It's all right, don't worry, come in before dinner, help me choose an outfit," Mary smiled at the corners of her lips and looked conspiratorially at Sybil, who understood the hint, smiled and left the table. Edith gazed with displeasure at what was happening, and frowned at her,
-What are you hiding from me? I am your sister and I have the right to know.
- Edith, dear. Like all people, I have my own affairs, which I may not concern you. Better take a walk to the village, you made friends there, -Mary smirked. In disputes, she had no equal. Edith turned red and flew out of the dining room as scalded. Mary enjoyed the triumph. Robert slowly looked at his eldest daughter and said:
-Mary, can you stop ulcerating at least sometimes?-He was at a loss, so he put it rather softly,
-Yes, papá, but not against Edith, -Mary grinned, and finished her coffee, went to her father and kissed him on the cheek. After that, she left the dining room. Robert remained seated. So some time passed, but Robert was in no hurry to leave. Suddenly, Jane entered the dining room, she thought that everyone had already finished breakfast and came to clean the table. Seeing the Earl of Grantham, she involuntarily crouched in front of him.
- My lord, excuse me, I thought that everyone had already finished breakfast and came to clean it, - she embarrassedly fingered a rag in her hands.
- Is it okay, Jane? Correctly?-Robert got up and came closer to her."
-Yes, my lord,- she was even more embarrassed,
-I will probably remove it later, forgive me, Your Grace,- Jane went back, but Robert grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Jane turned sharply and would have fallen if Robert had not caught her. Dropping the bucket and broom, she made such a noise that Carson came running. Seeing what happened, he was horrified.
-Jane, what are you doing here? Why are you distracting his lordship?- Carson was very angry, so much that the nodules came on his forehead.
- Excuse me, Carson, it's my fault, I sat too long and Jane came to clean here, she was already leaving, but stumbled and I caught her, - Robert tried to make a straight face. Carson frowned even harder and went away, leading Jane behind him. Robert remained standing in the middle of the dining room.
***
Before dinner, Sybil, as promised, went to Mary's room. She just got dressed. She was wearing a lovely black dress and the hairstyle sat perfectly. In general, Mary bloomed and smelled like never before. Having finished with her appearance and sent Anna away, Mary finally decided to share a piece of her information with Sybil:
-Matthew sent me a letter from London, in short, he wrote that we have known each other for many years, but he knows me poorly. What an absurdity, don't you find? This is all very nice of course, but what is he trying to achieve?- Mary tried to hide her joy behind the outrage. Fortunately, she knew how to hide perfectly. Therefore, Sybil did not understand anything.
-How beautiful it is, that is, we can at least hope for something! Imagine ... you will marry him and be happy! -Sibil dreamed and made Mary, contrary to her principles, involuntarily laugh. There was joy and pain in this laugh. After all, Mary knew they would not get married.
-It is unlikely that we will get married, dear. He will not be able to forget Lavinia,- Mary's voice trembled a little and Sybil, who caught her weakness, hugged her sister. Mary tried not to cry. "Not here, not under Sybil," a thought flickered in her head. The more she thought about Matthew, the worse she hid her emotions. Mary squeezed her hands so hard that her knuckles turned white. She should not be weak. The impulse passed and Mary relaxed. She could. She was able to restrain herself. She was proud of herself, and letting her sister go, she suggested to go down. At dinner, only their own were present: Robert, Cora, the mocking Edith, Sybil and herself. The conversation turned to war and the hospital, which had just been removed from Downton. Smoothly, from war, the conversation flowed into a more painful channel for Mary. They decided to talk about Matthew. Listening to the conversation between mother and father, Mary involuntarily remembered how she found out that Matthew was wounded, that he could not walk, could not have children. How she looked after him, but then someone sent Lavinia. She hated her. How did Matthew prefer Lavinia over her? It is incomprehensible to the mind what did he find in her? Nevertheless, Mary was impeccably sweet with her rival. No one could even think that she was jealous. Mary remembered how he began to walk again, talking about the wedding, Richard hanging over her in the twilight of the room, Matthew, bursting in to save her, Matthew, who came to her at night. Matthew kissing her in a dance. Matthew, Matthew, Matthew! Pictures ran before her eyes and her head was spinning. Tears came to her eyes and Mary had no other choice but to run out of the dining room, otherwise there was a chance that she would lose consciousness right at dinner. Everyone was so carried away by the conversation that they startled when Mary got up from the table and whispered in a hoarse voice, something like: "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling good," flew out of the room and rushed up the stairs. She clung to snatches of consciousness. "The main thing is not to fall right here, the main thing is not to fall right here," she thought. Having run upstairs, she took a breath and walked slowly to her room. Approaching the door, she suddenly remembered how she once collided with Matthew in one of the corridors and barely keeping her last clarity of mind, she opened the door and fell onto the bed crying.
***
Mary doesn't remember when she stoped to cry, she only remembers that the room was empty and dark, and it struck ten o'clock. Apparently dinner has not yet ended, according to her calculations, Mary cried for about fifteen minutes. Because when she left dinner she noticed that it was a quarter to ten. She was glad that no one had seen her so weak. It's time to stop these fainting. She's too nervous lately. Mary felt insanely tired, and therefore called for Anna to come. Before her arrival, she wiped away tears, trying to take on an arrogant appearance. Anna came in, as always smiling and meek. Mary forced a smile back. While Anna was opening her hair, Lady Mary sat stretched like a string. She felt sick again, her thoughts conquered her, and she wanted to be left as soon as possible in order to cry properly. "I became too melancholy," she grinned to herself. Finally, Anna left. Mary visibly relaxed and took a familiar book and went to bed to read before bedtime, or to look at Matthew's photo, because of which her mental health was completely shaken. Mary soon fell asleep without opening Matthew's photo. Waking up in the morning, Mary unfortunately noticed that she overslept breakfast. It was already in full swing, so setting aside the book with which she fell asleep on the dressing table, Mary called, notifying Anna about her awakening. Dressing quickly, and braiding an uncomplicated hairstyle, Mary ran to the dining room. She needed a cup of coffee. There was no one in the dining room anymore, apparently everyone had finished and left. Pouring herself the rest of the coffee, Mary sat wearily on a chair. Well, the week has stood out. She is terribly tired, mostly morally. Drinking coffee, her usual condition slowly began to return to her. She slowly calmed down and even reached for the daily newspaper.
Leave Mary to enjoy solitude and transfer to her room. Slowly, the door swung open and Edith entered the bedroom of Mary. She hoped to catch her sister to talk about what had happened, but nothing came of it. Mary was gone, and Edith wandered thoughtlessly around the room, inspecting Mary's things. Suddenly her gaze fell on the book, on the dressing table. An envelope and something else stuck out at the end of the book. Edith, not ashamed to unceremoniously grab a book and shake it. A letter and a photograph fell to the floor. Edith unfolded the envelope and read the contents. "Letter from Matthew? No wonder he is in London! But I didn't know. And what's that?" Edith turned over a piece of paper and saw a photo of Matthew. "Ah, that's what Mary does at night. Crying over a photo of our cousin. That's why she left dinner yesterday! " it all came to Edith right away. Instead of reconciling with her sister, she had a new plan ripened. Putting everything back, she left the room. It makes no sense to describe the rest of the day, everything went completely ordinary, lunch, tea, dinner. Everyone went into their rooms and went to bed.
***
In the morning, upon arrival for breakfast, Mary received a strange letter. It could not have been from Matthew, because she did not even send him an answer. Quickly unfolding the envelope, she read:
"Dear Mary, you must immediately come to London. Evelyn Napier came to me and asked if you were there, he had something really important, I'm waiting for you this week, Rosamund."
Mary looked perplexedly at the letter. All this seemed strange to her. Although, in the spirit of an aunt, she grinned. Maybe she just got bored alone? Mary decided to go today, by the afternoon train. She decided that she would stay there a couple of days. Notifying Anna, she collected a couple of outfits for the exit, and a couple of everyday ones. Having barely caught a London train, she finally relaxed in a first-class carriage. Before leaving, she managed to send an answer to Matthew, notifying that she was going to London. She did not know that he was staying at Rosamund. Arriving in London, no one met her on the platform. Neither aunt nor driver. It seemed even stranger to her. But on reflection, Mary suggested that Rosamund simply forgot to send the driver. She hired a cab and with Anna went to the London house. Entering the hall, she saw no one. However, it is not surprising. She did not warn her aunt about her arrival. Taking off her hat and coat, she entered the living room. What she saw there shocked her. Opposite her, stood Richard. Richard Carlyle. The one who allowed himself too much in front of her a couple of weeks ago. Seeing him, Mary staggered and stepped back.
-What are you doing here?- She whispered. For a greater voice was not capable. She was about to lose consciousness.
-Oh, Mary. No need to portray surprise! I have long known that you invited me! Thank you for your letter, I am very grateful to you. I want to once again, personally, apologize to you for what happened between us. I did not manage to cope with my emotions and now I am very sorry,- from all this flow of words, Mary's eyes darkened sharply. She grabbed the pillar so as not to fall. Richard stepped closer and Mary flinched. Suddenly, footsteps were heard from the second floor, she raised her head, and saw Matthew coming down. After looking at him for a couple of seconds, she lost consciousness.