okay so it's been really shitty lately the main thing i think of is "everybody so fake take me away from here" but as many of you know that's a song lyric to lil peeps song, honestly that's just how i feel a lot.
most of the time i think people are acting funny or suspicious i don't know honestly i think my trust just lies somewhere under a dark sea full of hard obstacles to get through there for i feel like i can't trust anyone.
ever since the cold cold day in january of 2018 i've been heartless, i've been mean, said mean things to people i care the most about. hurt the ones i love most. pushed away the ones i needed the most and here i am feeling so helpless and vulnerable. I feel like i have to keep a cold front up but sometimes i wish i could be soft like completely just break down little by little how i feel and just have someone hug me close and tight and whisper to me "everything is going to be okay".
i'm stuck in a black hole that swallows me, i feel like i can't talk to anybody about what goes on inside my head because i feel like they'll get mad or something. I honestly feel like a complete lie at this point, everything i do is mean i'm just so angry at the whole world that i take it out on anybody i can and i know i'm hurting people and i regret it but i can't help it. I try and try to change but nothing changes and i'm still the same ole person. the same ole ass hole that hates on everything that comes at her in life even if it is good for her.
smh it's 5 am and i'm stuck in my head wanting to just curl up and cry but i'm not going to 🤷🏽♀️
guess that's all for right now till i start thinking again
YOU ARE READING
My Feeling's, And The Stuff Happening
De TodoDon't read it if you don't want to... It's pretty much what's happening in my life
