Crazy Love (Norminah)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Christmas, it's nearly Christmas, and I'm still in here.

My stay at Atrium Mental Institution has been extended, apparently I'm not ready to go home yet. I feel like I've been in here for years, when really I've been in here just under two weeks. The longest two weeks of my life. A part of me has lost all hope. Maybe I'll be like Benny, perhaps I'll never leave this place. Am I really that ill? Is this my life now, being stuck in a mental institution? I just want to go, I'm ready to go.

Dinah isn't here, she's gone, I'm all alone. I thought she would visit me everyday, but she hasn't. I've only seen my baby three times, the last time she visited was two days ago. Dinah promised me something, she promised I would see her on Christmas day, tomorrow, I just hope I do see her, it will be the best Christmas present ever. There's a reason Dinah hasn't been to see me everyday, she's been warned to stay away as much as she can. You'd think I'm toxic or something. The doctor told her that it would help me recover, apparently I rely on Dinah too much, I need to try to live a life without her by my side every second of the day. It's hard though, I miss her like mad. I can feel myself getting better, everyday I'm different, I'm changing, and I know Dinah's extremely happy with my progress. It wont be long now, I'll be out of here soon.

Dad still hasn't been to see me, I don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore. Dinah made up an excuse, she said he's too busy to visit me at the moment, I know that's a lie, because if your child was in a mental institution, you would make time. The truth is, I miss him, I miss hearing his voice, god I miss everything, even the little things. And although being in here is making me feel better, I don't think I've ever felt lonelier.

Only Dinah has been to visit me, no one else, just her.

It's Christmas Eve and I'm currently sitting in the game room working on another jigsaw puzzle with Benny. At first I thought the man was a little weird, but after getting to know him more, he's pretty cool. The nurses even let us put up a little Christmas tree in the corner. They're not that bad.

"Are your family visiting tomorrow, Benny?" I ask him as I concentrate on the puzzle in front of me.

Benny mumbles something, and then he looks up and shakes his head. "Probably not," he says. I sigh, I know how much he misses his family. He then continues, "my daughters busy doing something, and I haven't seen my son in over five years."

And I thought I was lonely, at least my baby girl comes to visit me. "They might come this year, people can surprise you," I say. I'm full of surprises, I know I've surprised quite a few people.

"They wont, Normani," Benny says. It's like he's completely given up. "Are your family coming here to spend Christmas with you?" He asks.

I nod my head, unable to stop smiling. "My girlfriends coming here tomorrow, she's spending the whole day with me, I'm so excited," I tell him.

"Oh yes, your girlfriend, what's her name again? Destiny?" Benny looks up, trying to figure out her name.

"Dinah," I correct him, smiling again when I say her name out loud. I still can't believe she's coming here tomorrow. I deserve to see her, I've spent way too long without her. When I get out of here I'll be able to spend as much time as I want with her. It will be a dream come true.

"Are you exchanging presents?" He asks.

I sigh and shake my head, "unfortunately since I'm in here we aren't allowed to give each other presents," I tell him. I wish I could buy Dinah lots of presents, but it's against the rules. Never mind, I'll just buy her some presents when I get out of here. "Us seeing each other is like the greatest gift ever." I add.