Red Star to the Darkness

Chapter 3: Of Insecurities and Grief

"Who's that?" I leaned over Dazai's shoulder. The boy in the picture looks deadly, emotionless, a shell of a human being. "Him? A possible recruit for the Port Mafia." I took the file from him, flipping through it casually. "Akutagawa? He's only a year younger than you." Dazai rolled his eyes, snatching the file back. "So what? I'm still better than him." I sighed, patting his head lightly. "Of course, Dazai is always the best." We shared a knowing smile. "I'm going to see Chuuya. Want to come?" I got up, looking expectantly at him. He crossed his arms. "Hell no. Why would I want to go see a hat stand?" I rolled my eyes at him, making a face. "Idiot tsundere." He gasped mockingly. "What did you call me?" I pursed my lips and walked briskly out the door, grinning. "An idiot tsundere!" I yelled from down the hall. I ducked as a bullet whizzed past my ear. "Dumbass." I knocked twice on Chuuya's door before going in. "Chuuya!" I yelled, my cheery tone died down at the sight of the room. "Chuuya?!" I panicked. "Where are you?" I heard shuffling at the other corner of the room. "Shut up, brat." I walked towards him, grabbing a roll of new bandages on the way. "What happened?" I asked, taking apart his old bandages. He hissed in pain as the bandages were stuck to his wound. "You didn't know? Kyū's capture mission was today." I paused. "Oh." Chuuya looked at me as I rewrapped his wounds. "Dazai didn't tell you, did he?" I shook my head. "He's probably worried I would interfere," I chuckled sheepishly. "You know me, I'm too soft for my own good sometimes."

"Shira, you know he doesn't mean it that way." I finished up the last knot and smiled reassuringly at him. "I know. Now rest, I'll tidy up this dump for you." I supported him to his bed. He smiled weakly at me, already drooping off as the anesthetic I laced in his wound started to kick in. "Thank you." I smiled at him before rolling up my imaginary sleeves. "Kōyō-san is going to bite my head off if she finds out." I shrugged casually before started the cleanup. An hour and several bloodstains later, a knock sounded at the door. "Chuuya, have you seen Shira?" I hastily opened the door, shushing him. "Shut up idiot, Chuuya is sleeping." Dazai smirked at me, looking pointedly at the broom in my hand. "Have you been cleaning his room again? I wonder what Kōyō-san would do if she knows." I rolled my eyes before glaring threateningly at him. "Let's talk outside, and you better shut up about this." I stepped out, closing the door behind me. Dazai held out his hand, gesturing to me. "What?" I snapped. "Would you like to see Kyū?" I froze, stared incredulously at him. "I can?" He nodded, walking off. I quickly caught up to him. "Sorry for not telling you before." I smiled reassuringly at him. "I understand. Don't do it again though." He grinned cheekily at me. "I wouldn't dare."

"Shira onee-san!" I rushed over to the crying Yumeno, separated from the rest of the world by a piece of glass. Chains tied him to the ground and his doll is in a metal case just out of reach. I reached out slowly as my hands dissolved into strands of shadow, passing through the glass. My breath hitched as I touched his cold cheeks. "Yumeno-kun. Sorry. I'm so sorry." Before I knew it, I was crying. My breakdown seemed to have startled him. He slowly stopped bawling. "Onee-san, don't cry. Yumeno... Yumeno will be all right here." His every word pierced my heart I the most painful ways possible. I felt Dazai nudged me. "Time to go." He whispered. I gave one last forced smile at Yumeno, which he returned. As I stepped out the door, Yumeno finally broke down. "Onee-san is the only one I like in the world." I heard him yell. "I hate everyone else. Hate!" I quickly wiped away my tears as the doors closed, muffling out his cries of desperation.

"Are you okay?" I choked back a sob. "Maybe. I just... need some time alone." I quickly turned away, leaving Dazai standing there. Running all the way to the other end of headquarters, I went into the storeroom that I always brood in and proceeded to cry, silently. "Shira." I looked up, surprised to see Odasaku. "How did you find me?" I gestured to the corner of the room I was moping in. "This is the most isolated room I could find." He sat down across from me. "Dazai told me where to find you." I nodded, wiping away the tear stains on my face. He handed me a paper towel. "I adopted children, five who lost their parents in the recent ruckus." I smiled weakly. "Good for you." He sighed. "I know how you feel, Shira. But Kyū is dangerous. When we went to capture him, he killed an entire squad." I frowned. "I know. But Yumeno is still a child, he doesn't deserve all this, he's just... born with the wrong ability." I whispered. He pursed his lips. "I know."