Red Star to the Darkness

Chapter Nine: The past is the present, and the enemy is me

Shira sipped her cup of green tea latte slowly in a small but fancy café. Sitting across her was none other than Kunikida, also enjoying his cup of the café's signature coffee. She sighed softly as the last drop of that heavenly beverage trickled down her throat. "You're finished?" She looked up his question. "Unfortunately." She grumbled. He squinted as she eyed the order counter wistfully. Closing his notebook, he glared at her. "You are not getting another serving, it's unhealthy." She stared at him incredulously. "But I'm hungry." He rolled his eyes. "No, you're not." She crossed her arms, making a face. "You can't stop me, Kunikida-kun." He stared at her briefly before sighing. "I'll let you read my ideals." She froze before her eyes lit up. "Really?" She yelled uncontrollably before covering her mouth, shooting apologetic looks to the other customers. He gritted his teeth. "Yes, but only the 'ideal partner' parts." She smiled widely, creepily. "Of course..." Time ticked past as she slowly read Kunikida's notes, the latter sipping his tea nervously. "Kunikida-kun, I have to say..." She closed the book softly, handing it back to him. "the woman you are looking for is a bit too specific." He took it quickly, adjusting his glasses to cover up his awkwardness. "Well, I'm willing to keep looking." He frowned as she started chuckling, a tinge of bitterness laced in between. "What's so funny?" She stopped. "Kunikida, you missed the most important point in your notes." Looking away, she sighed. "The woman has to love you, and you have to love her. If not, what's the point?" He looked confused. "The point?" She smiled, looking at him. "Of living, of course. People live to create attachments, to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to be needed, and to be wanted. What use if I were the brightest star in the sky if there were no one I could shine upon and no one to admire. Life would be meaningless, no?" Kunikida gaped at her sudden statement. Noticing his shock, she smiled sheepishly. "Of course, that's my opinion, you don't have to..." He hurriedly cut her off. "No, it's really true. Wait, let me write this down." With that, he took out a pen and began frantically scribbling on his notebook. Smirking at his antics, she silently got up to pay the bill, signifying yet another afternoon has passed.

Walking side-by-side, Shira and Kunikida made their way back to the Agency. "Thank you for the lunch, Shira." She smiled, looking up at him. "No problem. You can get the next one." He scowled playfully back. "Shira, what're your conditions for your partner?" She frowned thoughtfully. "Conditions?" He nodded. She shoved her hands in her pockets. "I only have one." He almost tripped from shock. "One?" She nodded slightly. "We will be each other's reason to laugh, cry, live, or die. He would be my everything, and I to him." She chuckled at his look of shock. "B-But that sounds even harder to find than mine." She shook her head slowly, lips curling into a small smile, with a hint of sadness. "It's not that hard to find someone you love with all your heart, Kunikida. But if they don't love you back," She patted his arm. "that's a whole different story." His eyes widened. "Have you..." She shook her head. "My mother loved my... father." She spat with contempt. "It got her killed because he didn't love her back." She clenched her fists. "I will not make the same mistake again." Kunikida stared at the girl before him, before he tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder, an attempt at comforting her. "I, uh, wish you could find the right one." She nodded back, smiling. Their journey came to an end as the Agency building came into view. As they walked towards it, making small talk, as usual, none of them noticed a certain brown-haired suicidal maniac staring at them from one of the windows, expression unknown.

Shira bit back a yawn as she finished her last stack of paperwork. Stretching slightly, she sighed contently. "Are you done?" She nodded, looking at Dazai, who was standing next to her desk. "Yeah. Are you?" He shook his head, grinning cheekily. "Nope, I still have one last suicide method to try out." She rolled her eyes, deliberately ignoring the dull throb in her chest. "You're still at it?" He smiled at her, seemingly content. "Of course, I have to find the perfect, most painless way to die so I can try it with a beautiful lady." She forced a smile at his statement, quickly packing her stuff. "Well, good luck with that. See you tomorrow." She said curtly, before making her way home. Staring at her retreating figure, Dazai frowned slightly. His fists clenched as he thought back to when he saw them walking back from lunch. Shaking his head vigorously to clear his thoughts, he too left the building.