The Alternate

Daydream

Steven opened his eyes in the morning light. His sheets were drenched in sweat. He reached for his phone to look at the time. Instead of his phone his hand lands on something  smooth and leathery. It was the journal. He picked it up and opened it to the book marked spot.

Journal Entry July 18, 2015

"As always I saved your skin. When will you stand up for yourself? Are you really so weak that you need me to hold your hand through life? I'm done with you, you pathetic loser. You couldn't stand up to the biker and tell him off or boss to keep your job? No, I had too. I stabbed him outside of his home and stole his car. When confronted by this biker, you just let him push you around. Who are you?
I've never been so disappointed in my life. Of course, I killed him last week. I took a kitchen knife and met up with him in the city near Sunset and Wilcox. After I was done, there wasn't a lot to identify him with. I would tell you in great detail but I know you're not man enough for that. Don't bother with going to the police, because I  have anticipated that and prepared for it. Also, don't bother with your psychiatrist, she won't help you anymore. In fact she can't.

There is only one solution to this problem that we both suffer from, that I'm suffering from having to protect your weak ass. You on the other hand need to be put out of your misery. You should have died with your parents that day or perhaps I should have not killed your uncle and aunt. Rather, let them kill you. Not to worry though, the answer is in the kitchen drawer near the sink."

Steven walked to the kitchen, he turned the light on. He opened the drawer and fell back landing on his butt. He crawled backwards from what was inside the drawer. He read more of the journal.

"Do you know how much a gun weighs? Precisely, how much a Glock weighs?
31.75 oz. is how much death weighs and all it takes is a simple pull of the trigger. Now I know what you're thinking, 'I can't kill myself, I want to live!' but remember this one fact you don't commit suicide, I will keep killing. Whether they hurt you or not. So, decide and decide quickly."

Steven took the gun from the drawer and grabbed his car keys and left for his psychiatrist. After parking across the street, he knocked on her door as calmly as he could muster.
A moment passed and before he could knock again, the door opened.
"Steven? What are you doing here." she asked.
"I need to see you today, it's urgent."
he told her
She stood there with a look of concern, then said, " I'm with someone right now, but we are almost finished. Give me five minutes."
"thank you doc."
He waited on the bench on the porch. The five minutes stretch into an hour then two. He got up and walked to the garden to pass the time. The sound of the door opening drew his attention back to the house. They were saying their goodbyes. The person was wearing dark colored clothes, which contrasted with her pale skin but matched her hair. When she walked past Steven, she took one look at him then flipped him off saying,  "Wait your turn, prick!" after which she walked off the property.

Steven turned to look at the doctor, but she was already inside waiting for him. Once he was inside, he closed the front door and made his way to the living room. She looked upset.

Doctor Simms told him, "I'm sorry Steven the last session was supposed to end in those five minutes, but Karin was angry that someone was coming right after her." but that wasn't the why, "look I got your message this past Monday saying you were discontinuing our sessions."
Steven lowered his head, then showed her the journal. She looked through it, then looking up at Steven, "is this true? You're not messing with me, right?"

Steven looked at her with a deadpan stare, 
"I am dead serious. The man that had threatened me on the subway was found dead in the city and I looked into it and it was my boss who I stabbed." he looked up to her with eyes brimming with tears, "I'm scared doctor Simms."
"Steven, I don't really know what to do, maybe you can turn yourself in and I can help explain your condition, what do you think?"she asked.
Steven had been sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, but at the mention of the police, something changed about Steven. It  would be inscrutable to the untrained eye. However she spotted it.