Dear Luna

Chapter 1

Dear Luna,

05/23/2024

Iyan ang petsa ngayon at ika apat na araw simula noong hindi na kami nagkaka-usap. Kung iisipin, maikli pa lang iyan, pero hirap na hirap ako. Hirap na hirap ako sa ganitong set up at hirap na hirap akong tanggapin yung fact na kaya niya akong matiis ng ganito katagal. Kaya niyang isantabi ang nararamdaman ko at ipagpatuloy ang mga bagay na hindi ako komportableng ginagawa niya. Paano? Akala ko ba mahal mo ako? Bakit ganito? Why are you allowing this shit to happen?

It was very difficult for me to resist calling you, messaging you and most of all, ANG HIRAP MAGKUNWARING WALA AKONG PAKI.

He was the first and last person I would want to spend every rainbow and storm with, so how can I stop loving him?

If writing these entries will make me feel better, I would do it. Maybe you need to hear it. Maybe you need to know my point of view.

Luna, Do you think fate exists? I definitely believe in fate, but this is a different matter. If you're gonna ask me about this topic, I'd say that you control 60% of your destiny and the remaining 40% is determined by your FAITH or TRUST.

Katulad ng faith mo sa Diyos, you don't have to see him para lang maniwala ka, right? There's nothing wrong in believing.

I'd say fate is risky in terms of waiting. Wala kang assurance in the future na may babalik, na may maaayos, na may babalikan ka at kung may naghihintay nga ba.

Malalaman ko yata ang sagot kung totoo ang fate in a few years pero naniniwala akong totoo yun. OMG who knows?

If fate would allow it, I would dive too deep into nothingness with you. Sasabayan kita umahon. That's how much I love you.

I am definitely not ready for this break up.

Maybe I am not strong enough to let you go. 
Maybe I don't love myself too much.
I'm scared that you might find someone so much prettier, much more better than me, I'm scared of the idea of you falling in love with another girl.
I'm scared of seeing you happy pero not with me.

Or maybe, I just love you too much. SO MUCH. Whatever you do, I'll always forgive you.

Love,
Sky

 ‧₊˚✩彡══━一

April 27, 2021

"2 pieces chicken with fries and drinks, tatlong cheese burger and dalawang milktea. May idadagdag pa po ba kayo, sir?" Magalang na tanong ko

"okay na yan miss" sagot niya saakin at saka inabot ang pera 

"I received 1000 pesos po" sabay pindot sa screen at binilang na ang sukli saka ibinigay na sakanya. Iniabot naman ng kasama ko yung mga orders niya.

"complete orders na po, sir. Thank you" sambit ng kasama ko sabay ngiti sa customer.

Ganoon maging service crew. Kailangan kahit pagod ka, hindi ka mukhang pagod. Kahit haggard ka, dapat mukha ka pa ring presentable.

hindi pa umalis yung customer at may iniabot saaming plastic na naglalaman ng mga chocolates. Hindi naman gaano marami pero sapat na para mapangiti kami.

"hindi na pwedeng kainin ng anak ko. Sainyo na yan" sabi niya sabay ngiti

Tumanggi sana kami kasi hindi naman yun pwede pero shempre pwede naman kung itatago mo. HAHAHAHAHA nagpasalamat kami at kumaway sakanila at sa anak niyang nasa backseat.

Kapag nasa ganito kang trabaho, magiging patay gutom ka. As in lahat ng nandyan, kakainin mo. Susubukan mo kahit hindi mo gusto. Nakakasawa din kaya na every break mo sa duty kakainin yung products ng fastfood chain na pinagtatrabahuhan mo.