Then I always bottled up my feelings, anything that had to do with the past.. painful memories or just secrets. I was so scared to tell anyone, and I thought that if I did, I would lose the people I love. Which I did lose some for keeping my feelings to myself. I never understood the pain I caused people when I became shy and closed myself up, hiding from the world..
Now I will admit, now I still am afraid to talk about anything that triggers trauma to my brain. Am I still kind of embarrassed? Yep. But am I healing? Maybe. I know that deep down there's always going to be a lot of people that care about me and listen to all my problems. Because of them, I started changing myself for the better. Now I don't cry myself to sleep as often. Now I don't feel the need to cut as much to be happy. Now.. to be honest..? I feel free.
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