Tortured Love (One direction Fanfic)

Chapter 53

a/n italics is a memory + strong language

Harry's POV

The moment my phone rang, my subconscious screamed for me to answer it as fast as I could because of the possibility that it was Charlie was calling me again. Just the very sound of her voice was like a bolt of pure electricity running through my body and I felt alive.

Of course, the feeling was taken from me as soon as I'd heard what she had to say and I went back to being a shell of the man I used to be. Every agonizing beat of my heart further mangled the flesh of the irreparable organ. No one could fix it but the one that had done the damage in the first place. No one could take the chill away that seems to have permanently settled over me but her. She was the only one who could relieve me of the pain that coursed through me, infecting everything in it's reach like a deadly disease.

But I knew I was fooling myself into thinking there was an end to this torture.

"Hello?" My voice was raw as I answered the phone.

"Hello Harry," Dr. Owen greeted, "How've you been?"

Oh you know, just going through the worst agonizing pain I've ever had to endure. 

"Fine, and yourself?"

"I've been good," Her voice was irritatingly perky, "I was hoping you could come in this afternoon for a chat?"

"Have you found her?" I blurted, sitting up.

"I'm sorry, no. But we are still looking. I just wanted to speak to you about a few things and we need you to sign some papers."

"Sure," I sighed, pushing my hair back. When was the last time I had a shower? Fuck, I don't know.

"Great. I'll see you at 1:00pm, yeah?"

"Yeah, see you," We hung up and I forced myself out of Charlie's bed. Well...my bed now I suppose. This place had become like a second home to me and losing Charlie hadn't changed that. I'm so thankful to McKenna for allowing me to stay. We understood what the other was going through best and we'd become pretty close. Also, Niall would be here too which made things even better. He wasn't keen on the idea of me hanging on like this but I told him I was moving on. But that couldn't be further from the truth and we all knew it.

The letters that sat on the dresser were like a spot-light in a dark room. It's just so glaringly obvious that you can't help but see it and nothing else.

I picked them up and swallowed hard while rereading the words written in black ink. Looking closer, I noticed her 'L's were written differently. Why would - oh who am I kidding. What the hell does it matter if her L's are different, it's what words those L's are involved in spelling.

I slammed the papers down so hard items on the dresser shook while others toppled over. My body moved on it's own, attempting to channel the rage. How the hell could I have been so blind?! This girl has me completely wrapped around her finger even after the shit she's pulled. Why can't I just move on already?!

Growling under my breath, I quickly changed into some gym clothes and packed a bag. I still had time before I had to see Dr. Owen and this way, she wouldn't be able to observe my anger and ask about it. Her chat better not involve digging around in my head. I didn't have any patience for some bullshit therapy session.

"Hey, where you off to?" Niall asked as I passed him in the kitchen.

"Gym," I murmured, trying not to sound as angry as I felt, "You moved all your stuff in yet?"

"Today," I envied how happy Niall looked.

"You parents are cool with it?"

He chuckled, "Well I had to butter them up with dinner first but they took it well."