Prevails

Reality of Sleep Deprivation

"Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man can invent."

- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

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Trust is a strange thing, it lulls us into a false sense of safety...before pulling the rug from under our feet. When life goes too smoothly, it is time to get wary because you might slip any time. And there's a high chance that you won't be able to get up again.

When those closest to you betray you, and even trusting yourself becomes difficult. That is when you know that your life is truly messed up.... and there is nothing that can be done to make things better. No matter how much someone tries to prove that they love you, it becomes hard to trust their motives.

Because...deep inside you know that you are not worthy of being loved.

I wanted to trust that he was my happiness, I wanted to hope for a life that would bring me peace. But that was impossible, the idle wishes of worthless scum. I didn't deserve happiness....life had proved that to me time and time again, because what I had done was unforgivable.

My hopes had been crushed over and over and I didn't want to risk the last shreds of my sanity and put my trust in something that I knew was never going to happen.... because hoping brought me nothing but despair.

And so I would end what he had started, to protect myself and most importantly to protect him from me.

This was reality I was facing, and these papers would make sure that he didn't pay for the mistakes I committed. I didn't like the looming prospect of loss as I stared at the dotted line which would decide my fate.

*********************

The shrill sound of the bell roused me from my reverie. I turned around to see the pale and sleep deprived faces of my classmates looking at the board as if their death sentence was being written. My eyes widened as I saw our morbid fate reveal itself on the board in the curly handwriting of the professor.

"So students, I'd like you all to submit this by next week latest, or I'd have to downgrade you all." The portly old man announced in his wheezing voice, eliciting a collective sigh from the class...everyone being too tired to say anything. He bent down and gathered the blood, sweat and tears of the students in his hands.

In other words, our assignments.

I heard a pained groan from beside me. I turned around to see the tragic fate of the countless nights we'd stayed awake reflected in the slate grey eyes of Wilhelmina, my companion in facing this weekly torture.

"If anyone of us dies from lack of sleep, I'm going to file a case against this old bugger." Her grey eyes followed the portly figure of our professor out of the room. His slick grey hair gleaming in the artificial light of the room, the murderous thoughts running in her mind were clearly readable from her expression.

I couldn't say my thoughts were any more innocent than hers.

"I've always wanted to murder him, but studying to be a woman of law has its disadvantages." I sighed to myself as I gathered my notes, that were haphazardly spread across the table in my hurry to make note of the endless spiel of history that Professor Weatherby had spouted.

My table resembled a crime scene, but instead of dead bodies, the table was filled with pieces of paper that were butchered by my horrible handwriting.

Wilhelmina looked at me with sympathy in her eyes, as she stood up from her seat. "Woman, I'm counting on you to avenge my death if I get martyred during my war with history."