You And I

Chapter 1

I had been staring at him for over an hour now, my eyes glued to him the very moment he entered the train and took the seat next to me. My eyes flickered from the book that I was reading back to him, it was my very attempt to imprint his face to mind. From amongst the people he came with, he stood out the most. Maybe it was the way he carried himself; the way he just seem to make himself small despite his huge figure, just so that he would blend in with everyone and remain unnoticed. I wasn't sure. But I was drawn to him.

I was reading a book that someone left on the subway earlier this week. My breath was becoming laboured and my eyes were starting to water. I already knew how the story was going to end as I've read it the nth time this week, but that didn't stop my emotions from acting up. I bit onto the dead skin of my thumb as my eyes skimmed over the words on the page.

My grip tightened around the cover and I moved my legs up onto my chair so I was sitting on them; which I immediately regretted. The plastic seat was cold. I had forgotten that I wasn't wearing any pants, the clothes that I was wearing were the only ones that I brought and those were the only ones that were given to me when I was discharged. I pulled my skirt over my knees so I didn't accidentally flash anyone. My thumb went back into mouth and I started to chew on the dead skin, tearing off small pieces.

The subway stopped and the doors slid open. Most of the people in the car got off and another load got on. I glanced up from the page to see who was accompanying me. The crowd slowly thinned out as they found a place to settle on. I grew nervous as the loud chatter from the new crowd broke the silence in the train. I ran my fingers through my hair, which felt like dog hair because of the black dye I doused it with, and bit my bottom lip.  I took my focus back on what I was reading and tried my hardest to drown out the noise.

I heard the chair creak as someone sat next to me. My eyes flicked to the seat next to me, which was now being occupied by a man. I stared at him discreetly, taking in his appearance. Judging from the way he sat, he was tall and slender; but it was clear that he was trying to sink in to himself. His hands were in his pockets and his head was hanging down to his lap. He was taking deep breaths and couldn't stop shivering, even though he was wearing a pretty thick jacket and the compartment was a comfortable eighty degrees. His dyed blonde hair was covering his face and from what I could see, his skin looked like it hadn't seen the sun in years. He was perfect.

Mustering up all the courage I could get, I took a deep breath and fully faced him. "Hi," I held out my arm for him to shake. My eyes widened in panic as as my sleeve slipped down my arm. I quickly pulled it back down, hoping that he didn't notice.

"I'm Thea," I continued when I was sure that my sleeve would stay in place. "What's your name?"

He cracked one eye open and looked at me. His pupils were huge; dilated. It was hard to what colour his eyes were because most of the colour was taken up by his pupils. But, from the small line of colour surrounding the black, I was pretty sure that his eyes were blue. A very dark ocean blue.

"Niall." He responded with a thick accent. His eyes found my hand and he was staring at it quite long. He was slow pulling his hand out of his jacket pocket; the sleeve of it riding up his arm as he stretched it out, revealing his skin. I was blatantly staring at all the open sores he had; if he was bothered, he didn't say anything or it just didn't seem to faze him at all. It was like he'd been attacked by something, or someone. I should be disgusted or scared, but I wasn't. I was fascinated by him, the scars only added character. Niall took hold of my hand, his bony fingers wrapping around my palm.

"Nice to meet you, Niall." I pulled my hand back, giving him a small smile. He smiled back, his eyes flickering to the book on my lap and then back to me. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but then quickly closed it. A moment of silence fell between us. Him staring at his hands like they held answers and me staring at him, drinking in his every feature. A few minutes have passed before he faced me again.

"Nice to meet you, too, Thea," he finally replied. His hand going back to his pocket. "What are you reading?" He smiled goofily, but I think that it was more meant for him than me. It seems that he was proud of himself. But for what?

I held the book up so that he could read the spine. "It's not mine. I found it on the subway earlier this week." I admitted sheepishly, setting it back down on my lap. I grabbed the old zarf that I was using as a bookmark and put it in the book to mark my spot. "So when are you going to invite me over?" I asked, setting my hands on my lap. I was kind of excited that I actually made a friend. It's been too long. Too long.

"W-what?" He sputtered, doing a double-take. "I'm sorry, but, what?" He cocked his head to the side and frowned to himself, clearly bewildered by my bluntness. His once soft eyes hardened.He groaned to himself and pulled both of his hands from his pockets. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at them in the process. I was starting to grow wary myself. I didn't mean to make him panic. I reached out my hand to touch him, hoping it would calm him down. I thought nothing better of it and pulled my hand back. It might make him worse rather than comfort him. I snorted to myself; the image of him jumping and hissing like a cat conjuring up my in head

He stared back at me, eyes squinted and he kept on shaking his head. "I'm sorry. But did I? Did we? What?" He asked, disbelief colouring his tone. He whispered something to himself before staring at the floor of the train, like it contained every answer he was looking for. He lifted his shaking his hands up to his hair and started pulling on the ends.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I apologized, feeling a tinge of embarrassment coloring my cheeks red. "I've been told that I'm headstrong and blunt. Along with having borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, delusions, and being extremely honest."

He looked at me. And all I could think about was how beautiful his eyes were, how mesmerizing they were. He opened his mouth and then closed it. A small hesitant laugh escaping his lips, "Um..yeah. Do we know each other?"  He sounded disoriented. He let out a harsh breath and moved his head back, thudding faintly when it made contact with the metal walls of the cart.

"I'm too," He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes. "I'm too high for this."

"You don't know me."

"Are you real?" He cracked one eye open, and lazily turned his head towards my direction.

"Yes." I smiled. Maybe I didn't ruin things for us, after all. There still might be hope.

"Why do you want to come over?" He frowned at me. "I've brought home hallucinations before, but most of them never actually asked to come over, they just follow me."

"Can I come over?" I asked again.

"Yeah, if you want." He ran his hand through his hair and let out a long breath "I don't know why would you even want to. I don't have much to offer."

"Do you have a bed?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Then you have a lot to offer."