Selene's Drafts

TW: Self-harm

SELENE'S DRAFTS

She opened her notes for the nth time and saw random lyrics such as Miley Cyrus' When I Look at You...

When I look at you, I see forgiveness

I see the truth

You love me for who I am

Like the stars hold the moon

Right there where they belong

I know I'm not alone~

and Post Malone's Circles...

Season's changed and our love went cold

Feed the flame 'cause we can't let go

Run away, but we're running in circles~

and his Goodbyes with Young Thug...

There's no way I can save you

'Cause I need to be saved, too

I'm no good at goodbyes~

Cheesecake recipes – Oreo cheesecakes, choco-peanut butter cheesecake... his favorite blueberry cheesecake she failed to cook for him...

Random quotes from random movies and series...

Man Weol, I'll keep you in my heart and be the moon that never falls so I could watch you from afar. (Chung Myung, Hotel del Luna).

When enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones, S7 Ep7 00:28:53)

Her dreams...

Nyx, I've come to a realization that acceptance makes things much easier and with the way things are between us, and the way you say things, and the way we both already are, I realized, if we both are not going to tell each other how we both really feel, hindi tayo magkakaintindihan, hindi tayo magkakaayos.

My point is, I just want to make things be clear between us at the very least. Most especially kung wala na talagang another chance to get us both fixed, to restart from the very beginning of all these mess, before we both became too damaged because of each other.

If given another chance, I would like to give it another try with you. With the better version of me. I'll do my very best to remove all these toxicities in my body and brain which made us so much of a mess. Pero if wala na talaga, I guess, acceptance really is the key.

Yesterday, I really wanted us so much to be fixed and to apologize so much for the damages I've brought you. One by one, step by step. But I guess ando'n pa rin yung galit or inis mo sa 'kin sa sobrang abalang nadala ko sa'yo. So, I guess, the best way to get those out is to lash it out on me or in any other way until such time that you have healed from that night. About your homework, I guess I can't do anything about it anymore. Tapos na yung deadline, eh. Sa ibang ways na lang siguro ako babawi, if you would still allow me. But if not, I really would understand.

If you'd opt to never see me anymore, I really would understand. I'll keep myself at bay until such time that you are ready to face me. Masyadong makapal ang mukha ko na magpakita sa 'yo and I would very much like to kneel just to ask for your forgiveness. And by forgiveness, yung wala nang bitterness nor galit or anything. The forgiveness na galing sa puso. Kasi dun ako nagkamali, eh. I accepted your offer last week when I haven't forgiven myself yet.