Euphony (TBS 3)

098

NOVICE

I took the familiar way to school. Kahit naman weekends ay bukas iyon at humingi ako ng pabor na sana ay pwede kong magamit muna ang music room as a former member of the school band.

I glanced at Carlisle who was leaning on the car window. Pinagmamasdan niya iyong paligid namin na wala namang masyadong nagbago. He was gone for six months, it's not like everything would change that fast.

I didn't really know he was coming home. Talagang sa six months na nawala siya ay hindi ako nagtangkang contact-in siya abroad. I was afraid that if I hear his voice, I'll miss him more. Baka pauwiin ko lang siya agad-agad at sabihin sa kaniya ang totoo kong nararamdaman.

Yes, I told him I love him through text, but I know he deserves more than that. Si Carlisle iyong tipong kahit maloko ay dapat bigyan ng pagseseryoso because at this time, malimit na lang makita ang mga taong katulad niya.

Carlisle may not be the most sensible man on Earth but he has a pure heart. Alam ko may pagkakamali siya noon sa akin but he tries to make it up for all those years. I saw his efforts and I wouldn't let them all go to waste.

Napaayos siya ng upo nang mamataan niya ang school namin. I parked my car at an empty lot.

" Why are we here? Nandito ang surpresa mo?" he asked playfully. Hindi ko na lang pinansin muna kasi baka masira iyong magiging diskarte ko.

I was nervous, alright. Alam kong si Carlisle lang naman ang makakaharap ko but the mere fact that I was here to make him feel my love was in a different level of nervousness.

Diretso ang paglalakad ko sa Arts building. Humabol naman siya at ilang beses akong kinulit nang kinulit pero hindi ko siya sinagot.

I let him sit on the floor of the music room. Wala ang mga upuan at hindi ko alam kung saan dinala. Carlisle seems to be happy sitting on the floor, though. Parang aso na nabigyan ng pagkain ng kaniyang amo.

I went near the piano. I pushed the lid to open. Umupo ako at nilingon siya. He was sitting in an indian style while both of his elbows settled on his knees. He blinked his eyes twice, trying to look charming.

Napanguso na lang ako.

I pressed the keys as I went for the intro of the song.

I'm here, you're there
But your love is with me everywhere I go
This I know
I'm near your far,
Driving away in your little car
But my love will follow you everywhere

Nilingon ko si Carlisle. He was just staring at me as I play the song. There was a glint of something in his eyes. Admiration, peace…and love, all in the same places. Ngumiti siya sa akin na para bang sinasabing ipagpatuloy ko ang kanta.

I smiled back at him.

Pre-Best believe I'll make mistakes
But love won't stop, it has no brakes
Strong is what we are whenever we're apart
I'll be right where you are
I'm in your heart

So don't you worry 'bout a thing
Or all the miles in between
You have my heart
You had it from the start
I'll love you from afar

I stopped playing the song when he made his way to me. My fingers hovered the keys and just stared at him. Kumabog nang malakas ang aking puso nang hawakan niya ang aking panga at humaplos ang kaniyang hinlalaki sa aking pisngi.

" Why are you crying? May nagawa ba ako?" he asked gently, still caressing my cheeks.

I didn't even know I was crying.

Maybe because I missed him and feeling his presence just made me cry more. Ito iyong pagkakataong hinintay ko mula noon. Na mahawakan niya ako hindi bilang best friend niya kundi bilang isang taong magmamahal sa kaniya higit pa pagiging kaibigan.

" Please don't cry, you're hurting me Novice. I hate seeing you cry. The first time you cried because of me was when I stole your pens back in grade school. Tapos umiyak ka ulit noong hindi tayo nag-usap kasi mas pinili mong tabihan iyong pangit na transferee. And then when we were in high school, I made you cry because I let everyone know your secret crush. Ang dami kong kasalanan sa'yo. I wasn't  worth your tears, Nov. Kasi napakawalang kwenta kong best friend sa'yo."

He kneeled in front of me. Marahan niya akong hinarap sa kaniya at hinawakan ang aking kamay.

" I wasn't aware of your feelings for me and when I did, you started drifting away and it hurts seeing you happy with someone else. At first, I was confused kasi baka nararamdaman ko lang iyon kasi hindi na tayo pareho ng dati. And then I started noticing you in a different way like how Archi noticed Sol. Alam kong takot kang sabihin sa akin ang nararamdaman mo kasi natakot ka, na baka mas lumayo ako sa'yo. I wasn't worthy of what you feel, Nov. I was an asshole." he whispered. Humalik ang kaniyang pisngi sa aking kamay at naramdaman kong nabasa iyon.

I gasped.

" Thank you for loving me from afar, Novice. Your love was the purest one. Iyong handang maghintay, iyong handang hindi ipaalam para walang may masaktan."

" I love you, Novice. Truly. Madly. Deeply. And I am willing to wait even if it takes me forever to hear those words from you."

Huminga ako nang malalim at hinawakan ang pisngi niya. Like what he did to me, I wiped his tears too. Namumula ang kaniyang mata dahil sa pag-iyak.

" I'm sorry, I hurt you."

" That was the past, Lyle." agap ko. " Everything's okay now. Kaya huwag mo ng alalahanin iyon."

" What's important is I love you now. I love you that I am willing to conquer my every fear with you."

And then just like that, our lips met. And it was the sweetest thing next to his words.