Charlie's Angels

Chapter 1

I think women can do anything.

Well, I mean, just because they can, doesn't mean they should, right?

Think about women fixing cars, driving a taxi, installing some drywall.

Why not? No.

Look, trust me.

A girl like you, you don't really want this.

A girl like me? Mm-hm.

I mean, I want all my options available so I can decide for myself.

Ah, Miss Independent.

That's right.

That's me. I love it.

Mm...

Come here. Hm...

Oh, mm...

Except you're sitting here, eating my food, enjoying my view.

By choice.

Mm, I chose you to join me.

I chose to make you notice me. Ah, mm-mm.

That is not your choice, Sabina. Mm.

That is God's gift to you.

Gosh...

But don't you think it's sort of what you do with those gifts that really matters?

Mmm.

Every one of us. Mm?

Men, women.

We all just wanna fulfill our potential, live our heart's desires.

That's the kind of world I wanna live in.

Ah.

Well, my world is me making millions with you by my side.

Hm?

It's just that I'm so good at so many things.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Like what?

Well... Hm?

At my job, it's actually considered a huge advantage to be a woman.

Hm.

Yeah, if you're beautiful, nothing else is really expected of you.

And if you're not, you're pretty much rendered invisible.

And in my line of work, Mm... invisibility, low expectations... they come in very handy.

Housewife, sounds like.

Nothing wrong with being a housewife.

Just not my choice.

I don't speak Portuguese. I know.

Yeah, that's it.

Did you know... What?

That it takes men an additional seven seconds to perceive a woman as a threat compared to a man.

Isn't that wild?

Who are you? Who, me?

I'm just the decoy, stud.

How many? Nine!

Send the lot.

You stole aid money from women and children and refugees!

It's called embezzlement!

"Embezzlement"? That's fancy.

You must be the accountant. Who are you?

Open the safe.

Oh, baby, baby, you swiped right!

I'm your girlfriend now!

Everything on the bottom row. Let's go.

You're not cut out for this. I recommend a new line of work.

Bosley!

Evening, Angels.

Well, all this looks very promising.

Outstanding.

But what about Australian Jonny?

Ta-da!

Oh, you're gonna regret this. Yeah.

I was gonna give you the world.

The thing is, is you just talk way too much.

You're super clingy and come on way too strong.

You are the most incredible woman I've ever met. I know.

So that's four months' surveillance, two countries and the most embarrassing date I have ever been on in my life.

Are we good? I will address this to the U.S. Justice Department, along with, uh, all your new friends here.

We're good to go. Sweet.

I'm out of here, man. I'm gonna take a week off, party my ass off on a Thai beach.

Jane, you should give it a shot: beaches, letting someone play with your, uh...

I have fun in my own ways.

Oh. Cool.

You sharpen your samurai swords at night?

Cosplay Catwoman?

I'd actually pay to see that.

Occasionally eat gluten at night and feel...

That was fun.

So who were they?

You were in the presence of Angels.

But the question is, Jonny... who are you?