The sun in my days | 孙芮 • Sun Rui

III

"A girl?"
"Yes."
"And she seems to like you?"
"Yes."
"And that scares you?"
"No."
"Then..."
"She's always straightforward and honest and polite and understanding."
"Does that scare you?"
"Okay, to be honest, yes."
"Is it something that you don't want in your life?"
"I do want people to treat me that way, but I'm always scared and hesitant. Ever since I stuck on that wheelchair, the girls at the company distanced themselves. I feel that I don't have anyone right now. The friends I though I had, turned their back on me, just because I can't perform anymore."
"Okay. So is it that you're just afraid that Zhang Duozi will be proven to be a fake friend as well?"
"It's more like... I really don't want her to be."

"So you like hanging out with her?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever thought of leaving your hesitation behind and giving a chance to this new friend? Wouldn't it be unfair if you treated her coldly, just because you make unpleasant scenarios in your mind?"
"Ugh..."
"What if you started trusting your gut for one time? Think about this; Duozi met you in your worst, but saw the best in you. Sun Rui, there are good people out there. Just go with the flow and see if your new friend is one of them."

"It's so frustrating, to think about it. How can she like me? Honestly, I'm stuck on a wheelchair for god knows how longer, I've gained 20 pounds, I don't perform anymore... I hate it. That's not me."
"Sun Rui. Your words make me assume that you're not in peace with your current situation and that you think low of yourself. This is why you find it hard to appreciate Zhang Duozi, who seems to like you a lot even if you don't like yourself right now."

"Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I should stop complaining like a baby and act like an adult."
"It's okay to complain, but do act. Make the most out of every day. Give yourself space and time. Even if you know that this situation is temporary, learn to love yourself in that chair. Because if you love yourself at your worst, imagine how much you will love yourself at your best."

"Thank you very much, doctor. I guess I have many things to think about."
"Maybe you do. Now, you are dismissed. Go meet your new friend. Go give chances to people that see the most beautiful version in you, even when you don't see it yourself."

Sun Rui smiled at the therapist and left her office, thinking about all these things they had discussed about. Especially Zhang Duozi. And her heart felt strangely in her chest. For the first time, she was realizing a thing; she actually liked the tall awkward girl.

It's been a few days since their first walk at the park. Zhang Duozi invited Sun Rui at her place, so she could help her tidy up her bookcase. The latter felt nervous about it, but she was willing to overcome her hesitation. Duozi was worth it a shot indeed.
"I'll be there in 5'." She texted the tall girl.
"Good, good."
She took a deep breath, standing outside the door of the house. And then she rang the bell. She checked her hair and face on her front camera and smiled. For the first time she was feeling confident about herself, even if her legs weren't currently working. One day at a time.

Duozi opened the door and walked her inside her house.
"Wow, you've got a nice house. Your parents must be working hard." She commented while took a look around her. It was a spacious flat with a small front garden and many flowers covering the area.
"They did." Duozi said and suddenly her face got darker, like some unpleasant memory crossed her mind.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah. It's just... my parents are not with us anymore. We've lost them five years ago."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know..." Sun Rui tried to ease her friend.
"It's okay. I'm currently living with my older brother, but he's mostly traveling for work. I only see him the weekends. I used to work the night shift at "Gege's" last year, but my brother released me, in order to focus on my studies. So things are easier now."

Sun Rui was taken aback by the girl's story. She could never imagine such thing. She started realizing, why Zhang Duozi was such a kind and strong person. She took advantage of the difficulties in her life and used them to build a genuine character. Everything made sense now.
One lesson that Sun Rui had to take from her interaction with the girl, was that "during hard times, we should only come out stronger". So she started appreciating and admiring Duozi more.