Charity & Phillips

Chapter 74

Charity felt discomfort within herself as she wondered what her fate shall be. Upon her arrival at the Phillips estate, she was treated with the utmost respect by Thomas. She was given privileges beyond one could imagine, and most of all loved unconditionally by him.

But now, her heart belonged not only to Thomas. It belonged the Irish stableboy as well. In staying at the manor, Charity could live near the man who showed her what it meant to be a woman. She would stay with the first ever man she'd ever love.

Alternatively, in leaving the manor she'd be with her new love. Charity was aware that Brian truly did love her unconditionally just as Thomas always had. And she knew if she chose to leave with Brian, she'd be leaving behind the little wealth she was allowed as a black woman.

In being in the real world, she would no longer have the liberties made possible in the controlled environment of the Phillips estate. She would have to work and support herself as much as a black woman could. If someone were to attack her, no longer would she have Thomas to block the lashings of those who hold prejudice against her.

After much consideration, Charity decided such challenges were a risk she had to take. Thomas treated her as if she were his own rose. He tended to her, watched her grow and kept her neat. But Charity knew if she wanted to continue to grow, she had to leave the manor. I'm leaving, what would be left behind was the wealth of living under the care and protection of Thomas. Instead, she'd lead a simple life to live with Brian, whom she loved just as much as Thomas.

Charity slowly walked from her cottage, through the many fields and over to the manor. By the time she reached, she was fatigued from thought. During the duration of her walk, her mind switched back and forth as she wondered if she was making the correct decision. When she finally found herself in front of the manor door, she had enough courage to know what she wanted to do.

Upon opening the front door, which she was permitted to use by Thomas, Charity could not believe her eyes. Thomas stood in front of three men who shivered with fear. When Thomas heard the door open, he turned to Charity. Rage was in his eyes at first, but that melted away at the sight of his one love.

Phoebe watched the way Thomas looked at Charity. Envy still filled her, but she knew in her heart she was unable to change his ways. He was in love with Charity, and that was irreversible.

Thomas walked toward her, holding both of Charity's hands in his. In his eyes were true sorrow, the sorrow he attempted to hide in his anger. "Charity, it seems as though the child is not mine."

Charity was at a loss for words. She did not know how to react to a fact she already knew. Charity's lack of surprise only confirmed that the paternity of Walter was no secret to Charity. Thomas backed away from her, releasing her hands from his.

"Am I the only fool who knew not of this disgrace?" Thomas asked.

"Thomas, please have mercy." Phoebe cried. "I've done nothing but love you."

"How could you have loved me? You laid with another man and bore his child." Thomas argued with Phoebe. "You disgust me."

"You laid with Charity." Phoebe reminded Thomas.

"Never have i fornicated with her." He insisted. "And besides, even if I shagged her a trillion times over. It would make no difference, for I do not love you Phoebe."

Phoebe could hardly hold her tears. She tried to speak, but her throat was tight from the strain of crying. "Must you say things to hurt me?"

"Once upon a time I did love you. Never in the passionate way a man loves his wife, but I truly cared for you." Thomas walked toward Phoebe. "But everyday I saw who you truly were. And everyday I gained more and more disdain for who you are. I do not care if you are beautiful. I do not care if you come from wealth and a proper upbringing. You've done nothing but treat people as though they were dirt, and that is why I do not love you."

"I am improving." Phoebe tried to tell Thomas. "I am changing!"

"Never." Thomas insisted. "You do not know how to change. You only know how to hate."

"Never have I cared for slaves. And when Charity arrived, I must say I was filled with jealousy. She was outwardly beautiful, all who lay eyes upon her could see that. And I resented how beautiful she was without luxurious robes or perfumes. Even in her shaggy clothing her beauty shined through." Phoebe admitted.

"That is not the only reason I love her." Thomas told Phoebe.

"I know!" Phoebe chimed in. "Don't you think I know that? She is not only beautiful, but she is kind. And her spirit is pure for she holds no hate to anyone. All while being a slave, she is wise. And she holds more intelligence than any negro woman I've ever met. She has no intentions to cause anyone pain. And all I've done was cause pain. I see that."

Charity still stood a few feet away from the couple. Phoebe walked over to Charity. The girl noticed Phoebe's garments were shifted upon her body as if she'd been rocked and thrown, and her hair unkept. Phoebe reached out and took both hands of Charity, looking into her eyes.

"I always said I was an abolitionist. But I was no such thing. I only took on the identity I felt that my husband would approve of." Phoebe told Charity. "However, upon meeting you I've learned better. I've learned what I should have known all along. You, a black woman, is just as much a lady and an intellectual as any white maiden. And the negro deserves every right that a white man is allowed."