Until the End (Just a Nurse Sequel)

//2//

He laid back against the rock. He enjoyed the scolding warmth of the East African sun on his skin. He felt warm. He had done a lifetime sentence in that freezer, now he could be warm. He relished the feeling of sweat trickling down his brow and the bronzing of his skin. His skin, once a ghostly white, now glowed with colour. It glowed with life. He looked alive and he felt it too. He felt the gentle breezes and the smothering humid evenings and he adored it all. He even loved the chirping of bugs and birds that woke him as the sun rose.

Cindy always came and sat with Bucky when he joined them in the fields during the afternoons. Sometimes she'd lean her head against his thigh, but today she jumped onto the rock Bucky was leant against and rested her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes to focus on feeling his skin warming. Lying out in the open fields was the only time he could rest his eyes and see nothing waiting to terrify him in the darkness. This was peace. It was serenity in its most obvious form. He had nowhere to be, the was no one barking orders or demanding things of him. He was safe and secure.

"Bucky, you're needed." The brunette smirked, recognising Steve's Captain America voice.

"Yeah alright, pal. GIve me a minute more?" Bucky sighed, he could tell from how calm Steve was that there was no imminent danger plus Cindy had just drifted off to sleep.

"Bucky," Steve pushed with a huff,

"Is the world ending?" Bucky smirked, still revelling in the heat.

"No-"

"Then one more minute and I'll be there," Bucky stated playfully.

"James?"

Her voice came soft and quiet. It was strange and yet familiar. It was as though someone was singing his old favourite song, but they had changed the words and still expected him to know the song. Time had aged the voice, but he still knew it. He still knew her. Part of him was terrified to get up and face her. In his memory, she was perfect, she was his. In his memory, he knew her face to the tee, and in his mind, she was just like him, she was unaging. It wasn't that he was scared he wouldn't find her beautiful, she would always be beautiful to him. He was scared to look into the face of the future he would never get to have. He'd done his research. He knew she'd lived a full life: she'd remarried and had another kid been a success in her work. She'd still lived the life they had planned together- the problem was, she had lived it without him.

"James, do you remember who I am?" the elderly woman forced out, holding the tears tightly in her eyes. What if he didn't know her? How could she survive that?

"I-," He faltered. He still hadn't looked at her, but he was at least on his feet now. Bucky stared at the horizon instead and focused on the colours in the sky.

"James?" she called out again, still he faced away from her. The tension was piercing through her chest. Whose idea was it to put an old woman through this sort of trauma? She'd lost bucky once, she couldn't do it again.

"I'm not ready." He said finally. He sounded almost ashamed of himself as he said it; his shoulders had slumped and his head had dropped a little.

Part of Liv wanted to walk in front of him, forcing him to look at her. Forcing this big, bad, soldier to face him. Part of her wanted to hate him for everything he had done. She wanted to yell and fight with him about how he killed two of her best friends. Or how he left her to go fight a war, he promised to come home, he promised her a life and a marriage and a future. She got none of it, not with him. She had to live a life she'd never wanted because he had to be a bloody soldier. A different part wanted to throw her arms around him, one last time. She wanted to stay beside him till she died. Part wanted to run away because she didn't want to face him either. She did none of those things because she knew it wasn't his fault- none of it. She wouldn't force him to do anything, he'd had too much of that in his life.

"When you are, when you're ready- I'll be here." His head nodded slightly in acknowledgement and she turned to get back in the vehicle that had brought her out there.

"Do you promise?" he all but whispered; surprisingly she heard, perhaps she'd actually remembered to put her hearing aid in that morning.

"Promise," she smiled softly. It wasn't the reunion she had hoped for but she had faith. She had faith that he would be ready someday. She just hoped she was still around when it happened.