Hidden Under A Pile Of Lies - A depressed deceit Sanders fanfic

The true beginning

Remus pov: 

 "Holly shit." Everything then felt like it was going in slow motion. All I saw was a crying snake boi curled up in a ball next to his bed. He looked up at me, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. His eyes were all puffy do to the crying as well. He looked scared, and I could feel it too. The amount of intrusive thoughts were almost too hard to endure in this room. "J-Jan?" Dammit I stuttered! The amount of intrusive thoughts in here are really getting to me. 

"A-are you o-okay?" I managed to cough out those words before slowly approaching him, but before I could take another step forward he skidded away as though he thought that I was going to lash out or attack him. (Srry 4 the really long sentence!) When I saw this reaction I started to form tears in the corners of my eyes. He's scared, no, PETRIFIED of me. Me! Did I cause this?! Had I not realized?!? This thought made me feel even worse. I was supposed to be his friend. His BEST friend. No, that's not the problem right now. I pushed the thoughts aside and focused on what's in front of me.

Janus pov: 

Ohnononononononononono!!!!!!! Oh God he has tears in his eyes! I fucked up again didn't I? Fuck! I can't do ANYTHING right!! I spot Remus attempting to get closer to me. I know what he's going to do. He's going to run up to me and tell me about how much he cares. Yeah, ya know, FAKE sympathy. I don't want it! I already feel like trash. I then stand up and yell at him, letting out so many emotions that I've kept bottled up for a long long time now.

 "Just go away will ya?!" He looked at me in shock, clearly not expecting my outburst. But I didn't care, I only continued with my yelling; " I don't want your false pity! I know you hate me! You all hate me! and guess what?! I hate myself too! Don't rub it in by pretending that you give a shit cause I know that you dont!! You never did! No one ever did and no one ever will! I know I'm worthless, useless, pathetic, and that I don't have a purpose here other than to be a goddamn mistake! I know this already, believe me! so just please... Leave me alone..... " 

Remus pov: 

I didn't know how to respond to that. I mean, how does one respond to that?? Before I could think more about it for any longer, I was shoved out of the room to only be slammed in the face by his door. It was cold, and it had this feeling radiating off of it. A hopeless one. One of pure pain and suffering. It was painful to even stand there face to face with it. What was even more painful was the things that Janus had said. Did he really mean everything he said? Did he really believe all of that? Well, there was only one solution to this problem and I hate it. But I clearly cant help Janus on his own. I mean, I can't even get threw the door. 

I have to get the others.....

Helllloooo!!!!!! It mehhhhh!!! The authorrrrrrr!!! Just wanted to say, thank you for all the love and support that this book has been getting!!! BIG shout out to both @MostFabulousKilljoy and @asgtrick85 especially! Thank you two for all the love and support!! Please go check them out!! Havveee aaa fffanntttassssiiicccc ddayyyy mmyyyy lliittllleee ccrrraaacckkkhhheeeaaaddddssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!