All Wonderful Moments

2. Leaving for Lucknow

"Nafrat hai na aapko humse? Humari aukaad se? Humari shakal nahi dekhna chahte hai na aap? Toh khushi ho jaiye, hum aapki nazron se hamesha ke liye door jaa rahe hai. Lucknow jaa rahe hai hum, hamesha ke liye." (S1, E45)  

"So you hate me? My status? You don't want to see my face, right? Then rejoice! I'm going to be out of your sight, forever. I'm leaving for Lucknow, forever."

This sounds like a woman wobbling on the edge of feelings for a man. And it awfully sounds like a breakup (which is funny because the story hasn't even started, or technically it did when their eyes met?)

One of the most interesting thing about this exchange is the way Khushi words her departure. She never says "I hate you," or "I am leaving with my family to go back home," or "my stay in Delhi has come to an end." It's almost like as if she lived in Delhi all along as was leaving to a new city because of him.

Her departure is attached to his hatred. To her, her status, her face - three things that has hurt Khushi the most. She literally says that she's going away from his sight, forever.

It's no wonder Arnav hears something else, that she's not going home, she's leaving him. In most waysIPKKND has been heavily biased to Arnav's point of view - so when she declares the bg score quickly shifts to a soft, instrumental Rabba Ve.

The impact? His world stops for a second and he literally just says one thing, trying to get a hold of her, "Khushi, you can't leave like this. Khushi!"

This conversation haunts Arnav till no end. He spends every moment henceforth playing everything wrong that he did with her.

This episode is my favorite because their inner struggles are so visible.

When Lavanya asks Arnav if he loves her the way she is, Arnav looks at Khushi's desk and says "Yes, I like you the way you are."

This is the first time Arnav and Khushi develop their sixth sense towards the other - something that manifests deeply over the months to come. Khushi tells herself not to look at Arnav but she does, and is unable to look away. Her feet gives away at his voice, her logic abandons her (talk about pushing a door outward when it opens inward).

When Shyam, over the phone, tells her how much he thinks about her she's immediately alarmed until he covers his words. With Arnav she's not afraid of the physical intensity but of his anger, definitely his anger.

It's the first time Arnav sees how much he affects her, negatively as well.

And their romantic, delicate moments is a scene stealer. Her self respect does not allow him to take his extended hand. His awareness of her pulls him to return her dupatta to him, a gesture that means so much. When they're both quiet, something else happens altogether.

And then both are disturbed by the thoughts of each other. She's stunned by his softness. She had noticed when he stopped his rant. And the first woman Arnav thinks of when Anjali tells her about love is Khushi. It's his anger and personality that prevents Khushi from thinking more about Arnav.

And it's also his personality and beliefs (that are now on very shaky grounds) that stop Arnav from accepting the corner of his heart that has, unexpectedly, softened for Khushi. He only allows himself to completely think of her when he's alone.

*double dreamy sigh - eating butter popcorn for the sigh*