The Peasant Clips

Chapter 2

"Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, and the amazement of gods."

- Actually a smart guy (not me)

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A/N: no hate coemnts you preps! . i be reding everythin en I WeeL KELL U AND UR PET SNAP IN UR SLEP. I wll klil u 666 tiems. (gedid? Cuz i'm Gofik) als tanks 666moon fr edtig! U r de mst gofik! - silvrbludhartz

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Dumbledore sits stunned, the tea on the glass table before him untouched. The chandelier attached to the domed ceiling of the mansion reflects rainbow light that dances across the living room where Dumbledore sat as he waite,d , for the unexpected (yet expected) arrival of Grindelwald.

He could feel his heart pounding his chest, and suddenly he felt such exhilarating excitement that he couldn't help but get up from where he sat and start pacing about the room. He felt unbelievably small in his huge living room as he thought about Grindelwald. Will he be surprised when he arrives? Would he be happy? Would he be angry?

He was so lost in thought that he nearly misses the loud ring of the guest bell outside. He immediately shoves all the servants aside, eager to be the one opening the door to welcome Grindelwald into the mansion. He wrenches the door open, and it opens without so much as a creak, which pleases him greatly. On the opposite side stands a slightly dazed Grindelwald, whose sad miserable status probably means that he has never seen such a big house before. 'It would not be hard to impress him,' Dumbeldore thought (Asshole).

Grindelwald

Grindelwald has never seen such a big house before. He was told that Dumbledore was rich, but he had not expected such grandeur. The tiled floors were perfectly cleaned and spotless; he could almost sea his own reflection in them. There was a clear rippling fish pond at the far corner dotted with fish and fragrant water lilies. A long glass dining table next to it was already set up with plates and wine glasses, a vase of fresh roses meticulously placed at the centre of the table. A domed shape ceiling curved above their heads, painted to resemble the beautiful night sky. In the centre of the ceiling was a breathtakingly beautiful crystal chandelier, giving off colours that made the room glow.

He inhales sharply. Never in his life did he think he would see such a wonderful sight. Dumbledore was standing a little further off, looking a bit awkward in the midst of everything.

Dumbledore

Dumbledore had a sudden urge to take his shirt off, so he did, displaying his wonderful flabby skin to Grindelwald's eyes. Faint music started playing, and Dumbeldore felt the need to bust out his well known dance moves, dancing aggressively to WANNABE by Itsy Bitsy Spider. He hopes to seduce or at least impress Grindelwald with his hot, loose skin. Grindelwald was still dazed tho, so Dumbledore decided to karate chop his back, breaking and breathing in all of his 3 bones. The bones got stuck in Dumbledore's nose for approximately 3 seconds before he finally managed to fully inhale them down into his lungs. He thinks of them as cocaine and chokes on them, for he is a proud christian child who does not do drugs. He salutes to the koi in the pond before listening to the Turkish march performed by ants who are actually aunts. After a brief thought, he inhales the ants too and promptly ignored them when they decided to host the anal hunger games in his lungs. He chokes a second time, inhaling deeply before-

Dumbledore

Dumbledore woke up with a start and felt a sudden chill run through him. He felt as if he had come in contact with another timeline where he was a madman. Without realising, he had fallen asleep and had the most nightmarish dream he'd dreamt of in a long time.

One glance to his left reveals that Grindelwald was still seated next to him, eyes glued to the screen that was playing the titanic, but it was ending. Looking at the text in the corner, he saw that the next film playing will be "The CURSED Child" by...the unho ... by the nothol...by who? Dumbledore squints at the text but then realizes that this was not a book. Wait...what? Nevermind.

While he was racking his brain for an answer, he failed to notice as Grindelwald leaned his head onto Dumbledore's bony shoulder until Dumbledore heard his bones creak. Grindelwald's bones creak in response and Dumbledore felt his heart leap in his chest. They had to be soulmates. Destined to be.He wanted to marry this man right now. He has been struck by cupid's arrow and there was no doubt that he would not let him escape. However, the thought of his previous relationship held him back .He refused to be hurt again. So, he flips open his book of '101 How to get Baes' and gives Grindelwald the first pickup line he sees.

"Hey Grindelwald, are you a daycare center?"

Grindelwald's eyes leave the screen. "What do you mean????"

"Cus I want to put my kids inside you," Dumbledore finishes, feeling proud. Sounds of Bellatrix licking Voldemort's snot played in the background.

Grindelwald blushes even though he is cis male. Love has no limits. "B-BAKAAAaA!" he exclaimed just as Hairy Pottery destroys the world. The sound was not unlike the sound of his pounding hertbea,t. The tension was very - with the lacking of a better word - tense.

"Hey girl, are you a match? Cus you set my heart of fire-"

"DID YOU GJUST ASSUME MY GENDER??!?!?!?!?!?" shouts Grindelwald passive-aggressively. On screen, Bellatrix was just frenching Voldemort equally as passive-aggressively, grabbing his shirt and ripping it apart. Shirt went flying everywhere. Dumbeldore, inspired by this act, also ripped open his shirt, revealing his rippling flabby flesh.

"I may not have a heart, but I can treat you right," says Dumbledore romantically as he attempts to embrace a fleeing Grindelwald (he got that from his book too). Dumbeldore felt heart broken that the love of his life was trying to run away, so he decided to sing his favorite song, 'OH GRINDELWALD DON'T LEAVE ME'

Grindelwald, who was touched by this, stops trying to leave. On screen, Bellatrix was confessing her love to Voldemort (again), and Grindelwald leans in just as Bellatrix does the exact same ....................................................................................................Dumbledore could see his own reflection in Grindelwald's beautiful eyes.........................................................................his own dried, wrinkly and cracked lips puckered as he thought of running his hands over Grindelwald's loose skin and scraggly hobo hair. He wondered if Grindelwald could hear his pounding heartbeat that sounded like a stampede of hooves at the moment. "It's KAacHi!"

Grindelwald stopped in his tracks and immediately started dancing to your turn. Dumbledore sings along as he dances. "wAIt yoUr TUrn LovE hUrTS ITs jUsT thE WAy iT Is." They fumbled over the Korean parts as they attempted to sound Korean. They ended sounding like dying whales. But they tried and they are to be rewarded for at least trying. They keep fumbling over the korean and the guards wished for it to just stop. Please. Just end it. PLEasE. A sudden moan from the tv stops their sudden karaoke/dance session. Dumbledore then decides that this is no longer pg and skips to the next chapter.