HandCuffs

Chapter 7

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Chapter 7

Vulnerability

Well today is the day..

The dreaded day neither Beau nor I were ready for.

Our time is up.

Our trip is over, and that dark cloud was looming over us.

We are sat at the train station waiting for the Eurostar to arrive, both silent and brooding at the welcome we might receive.

We don't know if the police will let Beau go back on his own accord or if we will be met off the train by swarms of armed policemen.

I am frightened, and I'm sure Beau is as well.

Part of me doesn't want the train to arrive..

I don't want to lose Beau.. I don't want to be arrested for harbouring a fugitive or taking him out of the country.

At the point where I did, I was his hostage.. I was under his control and couldn't say no or I might've been killed.

I didn't have any say in the matter.

But I knew what I did was wrong.

I've been fighting with my conscience all week, thinking I should try to return him but I knew pushing him before he was ready wasn't going to work. I needed to ease him into it.

The horn beeps of the incoming train and my heart plummets into my stomach. I don't know if I can do this.

"I guess we should get ready.." I whisper as tears fill my eyes.

"I guess so." Beau sighs.

Hand in hand, each holding our luggage, we board the train and sit down after forcing our bags and cases into the overhead compartments.

The long journey back to London feels too quick.. I will have to say goodbye to Beau.. To the man I am falling for. The only man to ever make me feel alive.

Beau is my excitement.

My spontaneity.

My wild side.

My libido.

My pleasure.

My everything.

I feel alone even though Beau is sat by my side.

I feel weak.

As fragile as glass.

I feel as though once he goes, I'm going to fall apart.

I don't understand how this man has come to mean so much to me in such a short period of time.

This has never happened before.

I feel like a child again, but all I want right now is my mum and dad to hug me and tell me everything will be ok.

Once Beau is back in prison, I'm going to visit them. I need them right now.

Stepping off of the train, both of us are watching the people around us, looking for police or security.. Someone that might hound us and drag Beau off but we seem to be clear of any drama.

A collective sigh of relief fills us and we wander off to the car park.

~*~

The drive to Luton prison is shorter than I would've liked.

All the time, I have had a lump in my throat and tears threatening to fall but I vow to stay strong until Beau is gone.

I can break down when he isn't with me.. If he sees me crying, he'll change his mind about handing himself in.

Come on Ariella, you're strong enough to do this.

As we park in the prison car park, I turn the key and the engine cuts.

"Ari.." Beau sighs.

I turn to look into his broken watering eyes, "promise me you won't give up on me? I need to know I will still have you. I can't go back in there knowing you won't wait for me."

I nod, 100% sure I will do as he has asked, "I am yours Beau."

He smiles weakly and nods, "lets go."

Hand in hand, we head to the front; a large blue iron door. It even looks intimidating.

Beau presses the buzzer for us to go inside.

This will be my first ever time inside a prison.. I never ever thought I would venture willingly inside one but for Beau I will.

I think I'd do almost anything for this man.

God I think I love him.

A small door in the left hand corner of the giant blue door opens, and a guard looks at us,

"Beau, so nice you could join us." He says cheerfully.

Beau nods and pulls me inside.

Inside, there are various guards, cameras, barred doors to other areas of the prison and metal detectors.

Beau is checked over for weapons and items he is not allowed, before the guard signs him in.

I feel my heart breaking as Beau turns to me, and clutches my hand.

"Ari.." He sighs and pulls me into a hug.

"Oh Beau.." I breathe, taking in his intoxicating memorable scent.

Kissing my forehead, he whispers, "I love you."

My eyes water at his declaration, "I love you too."

I stand on tiptoes, Beau leans down and places a soft sweet kiss on my lips.

This is it.

"I will see you soon ok?" He murmurs against my lips.

I nod, "yes you will." I promise.

I watch with pain as he is taken through a set of black iron barred doors and out of my sight.

I give in and let the tears fall, a loud broken sob leaving my lips.

A guard take me back outside, and I rush to the car and force myself inside and fully break down.

"Beau.." I sob loudly, hugging the steering wheel, "BEAU!"

I have never felt like this for anybody! I have never wanted anybody in my arms so much!

My heart was wrenched from my body and it will stay with Beau forever.

It doesn't belong to me anymore.

I just hope we get our happy ending eventually.