COMPLICATED

3

the next day is my first day on the weekends, hailee told me via message that she had to go to miami for about 10 days, she is already on the flight right now.
I feel very confused if there is no hailee and there is only me and Harry in a situation like this. I feel like I messed up this relationship,
I wanna apologize to harry, because I think all this time I was very selfish and had confused his feelings, 
i walked to his room to met him, but i didn't find anyone.

he just read my message.

7 hours have passed, he didn't even reply my message. what the hell is wrong with me. this day i feel so empty, whereas before I wanted to be alone at home.
but instead I feel very lonely.

it's starting late at night and Harry hasn't come home either.

the next day, i woke up and reach my phone. i was looking at the instagram timeline. and something like this appears

like what the hell is happening to this man,  what it would be like if hailee found out?

is he mad at me?
ah nevermind,
I take a shower and then wear casual clothes for today

i drive my car to the place where harry's been. and because of him, for the first time I drove my rolls royce by myself without my driver. i tried to drive safely because you know that it's expensive, and i saved up to buy this car.  andddd because i'm bad at driving.

less than half an hour, I arrived at the location, and I saw Harry with white shirt walking in front of the restaurant, I immediately approached him

" we better talk inside" i murmured and
he took my hand and walked into the restaurant.

i dont know what to feel, but when he took my hand, my heartbeat stopped for a while.

After that, we sit at a table with a little privacy and start talking about the problem.

"so what do you want me to tell?" he murmured and look me in the eyes.

I suddenly looked into his green eyes.

"are you out of your mind? you had dinner with kendall when your girlfriend was not around? what should i say to hailee?" i speak quickly but in a low voice.

"Yes, and now I also have breakfast with other women." he spoke like he didn't feel guilty.
i rolled my eyes

" i need my pleasure" he said.

"so are you saying you're not having your pleasure? right now?" i mumbled him.

"i'm happy right now because there is you." he said

" harry can you just be serious for a minute, this is not even a joke" i spoke angrily to him

" I'm not kidding, I'm honest when I'm happy you're here, and what I want is you, not hailee. I realized that she was only wants what she wants from me" he said in a low voice

"But all this time we meet , every single day, you never show your feelings to me, and i know you treated me like a good friend, now you're suddenly like this. Harry as long as you know, I cannot betray hailee, she's my bestfriend!" i mumbled

" yea i know, but have you ever thought that all this time my heart was very crumble?" he told me with serious look.

" yesterday I wanted to apologize to you at home, and maybe could spend time together to improve things, I waited all day and you just read my message. then i locked up my intention, and this morning I realized that you need Kendall, not me. now I understand that you really have no choice in life, you are only concerned with your desires" i said with a teary eyes.

I left the restaurant, then got into my car and went home.

When I got home, it didn't take long for Harry to arrive too.

i directly went to my room. harry followed me and entered my room. he pushed me again the walls.

I saw his green eyes. our bodies touch, i can feel his breath and saw his green eyes. his face was only inches from my face.

he kissed my lips and suddenly took his face and pressed his babypink lips to my lips.
he put his arms around my waist and lifting me up. he threw me to my bed.
we do very passionate kiss.
his heavy body is on top of me, and i immediately pushed until i'm on top.
i suddenly realized that this was wrong. i quickly got up from the bed and stood on the edge

" why y/n, i know it's wrong, but we can not be like this again another time. so please let me close to you this time" harry begged me.
i was very afraid to ruin my friendship, but I could not hold back my desires that i want him too.

i approached and hug him. 

i've never been felt comfortable before. his smell makes me fell into his arms.

i looked him in the eyes, his eyes made me fall in love.
i feel my eyes glaze over.
" sorry if i'm ruined your feelings, but i'm honest about my feelings for you. i fell for you" he told me like he was afraid of losing me.

I woke up in the morning, in the arms of a harry styles. yes harry styles.

I feel very comfortable in his arms, and I have never felt this before.

back to 2013 when we're dating, we just had dinner, went to the bar and just kissed like only 2 times. and after that, me and harry decided to be just friend, especially bestfriend,

because we were too young too handle our feelings and i don't want to ruin his career.

hailee is a lucky woman because every day she can feel like this. and I'm just a loser.