Ｔｈｅ Ｃｈｏｉｃｅ ☆♚♌❣

Into The World ~

I believe in astrology .. 70% in zodiac signs and the interactions that happens up there, planets' impacts ect ..

I Didn't know much about 'Tarot' apart from what I read VIA internet : Gaining insight into the past, present or future by formulating a question, then drawing and interpreting cards ..

Well at least not until I sat in front of a boy who seemed very much into "Cartomancy world".. as he offered to do me a reading ...

Drawing the first card: Seven of wands , he mumbled : "Oh here is the battle ..here is a fight , there is a struggle" .. He asked me: " Are you trying to break free from someone ? you reached your breaking point, Are you seeking change cause this is what it looks like " ... Deep down it hit me to my core : "I am DONE, I've reached the edges and limits, I've had enough! " ... Yeah , clearly years of being stuck , frustrated not able to budge and seeing the end of this ..

He scratched his ponytail and drew a second card : " Yep! you've been holding back on communication ..and you wanna pour everything out , you wanna see this person right NOW ! you wanna have this conversation RIGHT NOW ! you wanna clarify the situation Right NOW!! "

With each statement, my heart beated intensely.. Why ? Because due to so much frustration and fear, I kept everything to myself inside .. it was no fun being head over hills, deeply attached to someone for so long and not knowing how they were feeling and where this whole thing was going !

The tarot guy grabbed those two cards and displayed them straight to my face and glared at me while revealing the 3rd card : " You wanna talk to them but they're also frustrated !! They're in a breaking point , it's the Three of swords! " 

Damn I always hated this one popping out of nowhere , bad luck on my deck !

He sniffed and continued : " Ouff .. You guys can't understand each other and your person is anxious cause he doesn't know how to fix this anymore " ... I sighed , what's there to fix ?! Ohh right : The silent treatment or the fact that we just simply cannot be in each others' lives .. Oh and I totally forgot to mention , we were never in a relationship! I giggled ...

But the guy had no mercy , he tossed the 4th Card and said : " Eww ,with the Ten of wands, I feel like this person doesn't want to talk , he's upset and stressed out , and they want to close their door " .... Staring at the guard dog symbol in the card made me feel sick to my stomach, I was in the confrontation mood but that was screaming " I don't wanna talk with you, I want to block you " .. No need to , he ghosted me for the ...I can't remember how many times he has done that, yet am completely fine with it !

The guy wearing glasses tilted his head and pulled the "Strength card" : "Oh with the 3 of swords energy, it is a break up and you're moving on!  I lifted my eyebrow as I ignored what he was trying to tell me but at the same time requesting an explanation , he said : " Am telling you a Third party is a major reason" ! I bursted out laughing , it's definitely my Roar feels , Leo who's not backing off, who's brave and ready to confront the enemy anytime ! .. But the 3rd person he mentioned , well I think I know who it is : His real woman , the one he chose to be with, the one he goes home to every night ! .. I felt bad biting my lower lip , and it was weird because I know that he surely knows that I know LOLZ . The truth: " We have never mentioned her, not even once, it's like she never existed in our worlds " ...

I got even more disturbed when he started shuffling the cards again .. for a whole minute, what's more in there to tell ..Oh nice ! this is possibly coming to an end ..

He said in an agitated tone : " The moon in the seven of wands.. " , He dropped the moon card. 

Well I know for sure that "My moon was in Sagittarius" : The sign of leaps of Faith, while the moon represents the Flash reactions ! Which basically means that Sagittarius Moons often take risks based on instinct ! yeah like I always have .. The guy stared at the card for a moment and went on : " it's like you want to know what they're hiding ... and it's like in your head you're wondering : what are they thinking ? How do they feel about you .. " , I wanted to scream : LUST !

Another card appeared :" Okaaay .. This is you wondering : tell me how you feel ..tell me you love me !! And cause you see ,Nine of swords with the Queen of cups ... hmmm this queen is up for a conversation ...and with the moon you asking him if he needs you in their life !! "

Aawwtchhh that hurts , I don't think I have ever asked him this question maybe cause I was afraid of hearing his answer or cause I knew exactly what it was and I just didn't care & I didn't want to hear it.. Since the day we met , only having him in my life was enough I thought ! and I shut my eyes on everything else , though am sure he does even a little (like me) ! Am a lovable person after all ..yuckk whatever ..!

Scratching his nose , he exposed the Six of pentacles and I was not a big fan of the pips , he smirked :

"Because this person is keeping you at arm's length ..you know once things become serious and intense he shut down, and that is not doing you any good, that's why you need to talk " , he added : " When he needs you, he's there, but when he doesn't ,he disappears !" Bingo that was the case !!

Eventually, it's better to hear things this crystal clear than convincing myself that everything is in good track and there's nothing to worry about ..Well there is, this tarot guy reader just tossed it to my face ,in short: I've been delusional and not aware of the situation, Time to wake up , the person am entangled with will never be mine, he's after his own advantages and am just a sweet prey and a fleet moment that won't last ..

Snapped out of my bubble of mixed confusing thoughts when he drew the card before the last one " The world card " - that shows a naked woman wrapped in a purple cloth, dancing inside a large laurel wreath and she looks behind her to the past, while her body moves forward to the future- .

He sighed like he's won the lottery and said in a ringing voice : "Ohh so you want to end this ..The world card with the 10 of wands can be a long distance relationship" , and here you're telling yourself : let's GET DONE with this and if you're not letting me in your life and part of you, then SET ME FREE and END whatever is going on ..."

But then with the last card that showed up on the deck which was the "Prince of pentacles" duh , I knew what this was about : That I have a big heart for this person , am gonna be all kind and my approach will be about peace cause I have some solution, and with the "strength card" it is an offer! Offer of what ..?? I'm tired of this energy and bored ..

Progressing past the pain wouldn't be an easy fix, my veins demolished and I honestly saw it coming since forever . An end that scroched me like a bad sunburn , I thought I need to free myself and end this dilemma ..

I cannot be an extra wheel of moral or physical support ..I don't see myself worthless ..I don't want to be a one time stand .. I want to be the life time person .. and with him , though we had the chemistry, the passion and everything fIowed smoothly , sparkles were there too, but at the end of the day, I was no one to him , just someone who tagged along over the years !

Practitioners believe the simple-looking tarot card layouts can help the individual explore the depths and nodes of one's spiritual path and discover a new realm of possibility for enrichment in regard to the inner self .. However, When it comes to feelings and heart issues, it's a whole different stroy !

That last card should have been the Ace of cups or the Ace of pentacles , because every woman is worthy to be the one , loved ,respected and cherished .. and every woman needs her fresh new start !

Do we all agree ? ...