Let me go

Chapter 5- Nash

I felt it as soon as we made eye contact. The reality of it all came crashing down on me like a thousand crows picking at my skin at oncem I felt like a pussy, I'm not going to liem His presence made me want to break things, cry. Everything that reminded me of my best friend, things like playing cards and yelling at the television screen during a football game- it's all been changed- now when I see him, I see blood, I see needles and knives and Isabelle's birthmark, the one place that hasn't been bruised, her wrist. The brother I grew up with has become more than an enemy to me. He has become an issue, a constant worry and pain. I don't know if that can ever change. Even if she wakes up. Even if she forgives me. All of us. I don't think I can look at Taylor again and not remember what monster he is capable of turning into. All the things he can do.

I don't think you can ever understand how confused I am. Getting a call from Cameron, telling me that someone has died. Has been killed with their own hands, been beaten to death with their bats. I thought it was all a joke.

"I'm sorry, we didn't think it would go this far," I recalled Cameron saying when I saw Isabelle for the first time at the empty dried land where they told me to meet them. Somewhere far away from where we live and where we planned to stay, where we planned to hide Emily. The boys didn't tell me Emily was locked in Carter's car, blacked out in the backseat. I didn't know, not until Jack G. asked me to go to the house where we planned to hide.

Unaware of all the Emily ruckas going on, I looked at Isabelle. Her pale skin covered with purple bruises, short white dress soaked in blood. I looked at Emily and saw all the broken bones and dented skull, I couldn't breathe. It didn't make sense that my best friends did this to her. A weird and painful feeling vibrated through my body, a feeling like all the blood was draining from my broken veins, and all the holes I had in me were expanding. It hurt a lot. It hurt a whole fucking lot.

I remembered managing to stutter a hushed "what the fuck?" I spun around and collapsed on my knees, checking for a pulse, any sign of life in Isabelle's small and twisted body. The boys stood around me, waiting patiently as I reacted to the madness. Hayes was sobbing kicking at my car.

"Give it up, man," said Taylor. "We checked, she's good as dead." I couldn't decipher the fact that they were acting this calm about a girl's death, a murder. I looked up at Taylor and saw his eyes red, I didn't't think he was crying, but I remember thinking he was high.

'He killed her when he was high,' I remembered saying to myself. ' What has he turned into?'

"We need to start diggin'," said Matt. My stomach sank. How could they be okay with all of this.

"Matt?" I said, my gaze shifted from Taylor to Matt. "Do you not see what is happening here? H- how old is she? 16? 17?" He looked down at his shoes, not wanting to look me in the eyes.

I got on my feet and walked to Carter's car, opened the trunk and took out a shovel. Aaron held on to the metal part of it. "Nash, please."

"I'm gonna fucking kill one of you," I said raising the shovel. The boys took a few steps back. "She- what did she do. What did she do to deserve death. Who is she, do we know her? What's her name?" I was so lost and confused, questions bombarded my brain, distracting me. I sputtered as much questions as I could.

"Isabelle."

The sound of her name triggered something in me. Like a demon was caged insise my body and her name was what set it free. And that's when I closed my eyes and flung the shovel at a random direction. A shriek of pain filled the hot air surrounding me, followed by the sounds of the kicking of grass and yelling of boys. I didn't open my eyes until I couldn't hear anything no more.