-do you feel like a young god? you know the two of us are just young gods [halsey]
[ Phoenix wakes up one day in Camp Half-Blood. After siding with his mother, Hecate, against the gods he went missing while Gaea rose. Now, he must save a goddess and...
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WE WERE IN Montana when we had to abandon the train. We hurried to the nearest bathroom and sent and Iris message to Nico to let him know what happened. Nico seemed nervous about the idea that the Furies, all three, came to find me and return me to Hades for questioning.
(Why would I take Persephone anyway? What was with that? She was like a second mother to me. I would never hurt her.)
After the Iris Message I used to the money I stole from Aunty Em's to buy a hotel room for the night. I watched Percy set Riptide on the bedside table. He played with his beaded necklace.
"What's on the beads," I asked as I put up the wards. I looked over my shoulder at him.
"Its decorated for each summer at camp. This ones my favorite. It has the name of all of the fallen...from...the battle," he said, looking up at me with a frown. I caused a few of those deaths. My hands fell to my sides.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I just...Kronos promised me things. Promised me power...I was dumb. My magic...the more I use it the more it taints my soul. Darkens it," I explained. "My mom warned me about it...but I'd do anything for power. I don't want to be forgotten when I'm dead."
Where were these words coming from? I liked the rush of the kill, the rush of the magic coursing through me. Why was I apologizing? I liked the buzz of magic in my veins. I liked feeling it change something inside me, eating away at my humanity. The slight pain of it all. It was like being high and I was an addict.
It was true though. I would do anything for a taste of power. I would do anything to ensure I wouldn't be lost completely to death. That when I'm gone someone else would remember me.
Percy studied me. He didn't question my apology. He should have. Instead, he says, "Should we talk about what happened on the train?"
"No," I said sharply.
I didn't want to think about my interest in the boy or what it meant. I wanted to find Persephone, get my answers and get back to Hell. I did not like Perseus Jackson. I did not want to kiss him again. I had no interest in those green eyes...soft lips...dark hair...the way he tasted like the ocean. No.
Not what I said yesterday, I know, but I couldn't afford to like him right now. He was a weakness, a distraction.
"No? So like it never happened?" he asked with a frown.
"I—"
"I don't want to do that. I get it if it's because of the quest and honestly nothing needs to happen but I don't want to not—"
I hated what I said next but I couldn't help it. It's the eyes, the slight pout on his lips. I hated how he had me helpless.
"Come here and kiss me, dumbass," I said in a low voice.
I didn't want to talk about my feelings. Feelings were horrible. I didn't want them at all. I could want to kiss Percy and feel nothing toward the boy. Right?
No.
I hated everything I felt as Percy grinned big and scrambled onto the bed with me. The butterflies. The excitement—the wanting.
He sat on top of me again. I think he was used to his ex-girlfriend Annabeth. He was used to straight people. Boys on top. Ha-ha! Not today Percy. I laughed softly, leaning up to kiss him. I pushed him back down onto the bed. I felt every inch of him tense in surprise.
"Relax, Perce, I won't hurt you," I cooed. He looked unconvinced. My hand found the small in his back. The spot where he'd once been vulnerable. "I won't hurt you," I repeated.
He seemed to relax a bit at that. We stayed still for a moment, just staring at each other.
"What the hell are you doing? Kiss me," he said quietly.
Gods.
I pressed my lips to his roughly. It was just as desperate and needy as before. Pulling at clothes, touching skin but never too much.
I tried to lie to myself: He was nothing. He was a pastime.
Truthfully? He was perfect. I never wanted to stop doing this.
I held his chin firmly, studying him for a moment. The way his green eyes looked up at me. The way he looked so helpless under me. I could have killed him right then, I realized. I realized as well, how very little I wanted to kill Percy Jackson. I pulled back, sitting against the headboard, horrified. I wanted him to stay alive. I couldn't stand the idea of him dying.
The images from my nightmare crowded my mind once again.
Percy laying dead in the snow. Gone.
Percy didn't ask questions when I shut down, he simply disappeared into the bathroom. He gave me space.
Fuck feelings!
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm down before I had a full blown panic attack.
When I opened my eyes there was I pretty girl sitting at the end of the bed. I almost yelped in surprise. She looked like my mother for a moment. Then like Persephone. The women I admired. A hint of Demeter.
"Aphrodite," I said, annoyed.
Just when I decided to ignore my emotions, she shows up. Son of a bitch!
"Hello, Phoenix. Do you know why I'm here?" she asks calmly, voice sweet like honey.
I shrugged. "Because I don't want to decapitate Percy?"
I hoped she would say yes, that's all and be on her merry way. But no, she stuck around for a minute.
"Percy isn't the brightest when it comes to his feelings. He'll realize too late this is more than just...him experimenting, Phoenix. It's in your interest to keep him at arms length. His too," she said. "Unfortunately, your fates are closely intertwined. I don't see you keeping your distance."
She winked.
"At least he's pretty to look at."
Aphrodite laughed sadly. "You will doom each other."
"Exciting. Are we done?"
"Don't ignore your feelings. They may also be the thing that saves you, godling," she hummed.
"So...we keep this up we're doomed but it also might save me? Huh? That makes no sense. Thank you so much!"
A moment later, Percy stepped out of the shower. The towel he was drying his hair with fell to the floor.
"Did you order a hooker while I was in there? How long was I gone," he said, bewildered.
"Percy, it's Aphrodite," I said in a low voice.
His face turned red. "Oh."
"Why don't you take your turn in the shower, Phoenix. I've got to talk to the young hero," she said pleasantly.
Aphrodite was all pleasantries. Don't let her fool you. She didn't take shit from anyone.
I locked the bathroom door behind me. I did not want to hear what relationship advice Aphrodite wanted to offer to Percy. I didn't even want to hear what she had told me.
