Hi! Please note that I am not a professional writer nor I am an experienced critic, just a writer wanting to help. The following are only my opinions to point out what can be reviewed. THIS REVIEW MAY ALSO CONTAIN SPOILER/S. Thank you ❣
___________________________________
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Unang-una, gusto ko ang pamagat ng kuwento. It really caught my interest and made me think what those "spaces" could mean. Napatawa nalang ako nang mabasa ko ang simula ng first chapter. 'Di ko inaasahan na 'yon ang spaces, HAHAHA. My mind went deep before knowing that. Naisip ko na 'yung spaces ay ang spaces sa pagitan ng mga daliri natin, tapos nafi-fill ang gaps kapag magkaholding-hands---AH EWAN. Lul. It was unpredictable. It sounded funny at first, but then it's just brilliant. It's the place where they first met, the catalyst of the story ika-nga. You made it sound sentimental and nice.
Hindi ko alam kung may iba pang meaning ang pamagat, but I like it.
BOOK COVER
Your book cover is simple at malinis tingnan. The font and its style is legible. Bumagay naman ang font sa image na napili mo, but it wasn't quite eye-catching. Dahil sa kulay siguro?
The image that you chose also made me think na malungkot ang kuwento. The color, the subject... malungkot. Kabaliktaran sa nilalaman ng nga existing chapters mo. I didn't think much of it naman kasi hindi pa tapos ang story na sinusulat mo. That being said, I still can't say anything about its relevance to the plot.
BLURB
Your blurb is short but gave enough. There's no mention of a conflict, but it was still intriguing. Nagustuhan ko ito at nagkainteres din sa kuwento. However, I think it's more fitting if it revolves around Laureen. Ang kuwento kasi ay nakabase sa perspective niya taliwas sa pinakita sa blurb. 'Yan lang naman.
PROLOGUE
I like your prologue. Naipakita rito ang mature side ni Laureen, malayong-malayo sa whimsical character niya sa mga nabasa kong chapters. May development, kumbaga. Nang mabasa ko rin ang kabuuan, napatanong ako sa sarili ko. Bakit humantong sa gano'n? Bakit nando'n siya sa labas at nakaluhod? What happened to them? Nakakaintriga. Your book cover also made sense here. Remind na lang kita sa placement ng prologue mo, if hindi mo pa na-edit by this time na na-publish to, ehe.
Hmm, personally, hindi ko na-appreciate ang last line. It foreshadowed the conflict, pero it was too much. Naging spoiler na. Sa future, it wouldn't be a shock to the readers dahil nalagay na sa prologue na mabubuntis siya. You can rephrase it, try not to reveal too much. But that's just my thought.
