Shaman Secrets - A Mighty Boosh Fanfic

Agreement

There was a silence, and finally Vince laughed.

“What you need his help for?” he asked. “Can’t the crunch help you?”

Saboo scowled. “You know nothing of the crunch.”

“You  got that right.” Vince retorted.

Naboo sighed, and exchanged looks with Bollo, who shrugged.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Bollo warned him.

Naboo shrugged.

Saboo gave Bollo a look, then switched his gaze to Naboo. “Well?”

“What do you need me for?” Naboo complained. “Find some else. Ask Kirk.”

“Unfortunately, Kirk is on…probation.”

“Oh no, what’s he done now?”

“He seems to have been fulfilling and overindulging his sexual appetite.”

“Oh.”

Bollo sighed in disappointment. “Kirk,” he muttered.

“But why me?” Naboo asked.

Saboo scowled. “It wasn’t my decision. The Head Shaman ruled this.”

Naboo sighed. He hadn’t had nearly enough alcohol or drugs to deal with this. “What do you want me to do?”

Saboo’s expression changed to one of triumph. “A journey to the Witch’s Lair,” he informed the others. “We go there and…complain.”

“Complain?” Vince repeated with a half-laugh. “What you gonna complain about?”

“And if our demands are not met, we kill her.” Saboo continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

“Ah.”

Bollo and Vince exchanged glances.

“You’re on.” Naboo said. “Just let me pack.”

Vince’s eyes widened, and he pulled Naboo away. “What do you mean ‘you’re on’?”

“I have to help. It’s my duty as Shaman.”

“Duty schmootie,” Vince replied. “He doesn’t like you, he can do it himself. Besides, we need you here.”

Naboo paused. “Listen, Vince, I have to do this. You can do this too, you have Howard to help.”

“Howard?” Vince exclaimed in disbelief. “Howard can’t help me, he doesn’t even know the difference between a Stetson and Resistol hats!”

“Is there a difference?” Naboo asked with a frown.

Vince scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t believe this. You’re leaving me alone with Howard, again.”

Naboo frowned. “What’s brought this on, Vince? I thought you liked Howard.”

“I do, yeah, but-”

“He going crazy being inside for so long.” Bollo cut in.

“Oh, right, yeah, how’s that going?” Naboo asked.

“Fine,” Vince snapped.

“Some sunshine child you are,” Naboo told him.

Vince rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Come back soon okay? Otherwise there’ll be a dead body here and I won’t be responsible.”

“Oh relax,” Naboo replied. “Bollo’s staying too.”

“Huh?” Bollo grunted.

“Well, you can’t come, can you? Big ape, not that inconspicuous is it? We’re going to need stealth.”

“Yeah, two guys dressed as a cowboy and a genie in this age of mods, not gonna stand out at all,” Vince mocked.

Naboo gave him a look. “Yeah, yeah. I’m going to go pack.”

Vince and Bollo watched as Naboo walked away.

Bollo looked at Vince. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Vince said, walking back to the counter, ignoring Saboo. “Tell me something I don’t know.”