cix | numb*ﾟ

butterfly effect ∞

"yonghee, hyunsuk is going to be here soon, come down please!" his mom called from below, as the boy hurried to gather his belongings and head downstairs.
"morning mom" he greeted his loving mom as he sat on one of the stools by their countertop, awaiting the arrival of his friend that would be walking to school with him. although hyunsuk was younger than yonghee by a few years, they still had a close relationship thanks to their moms being close friends as kids. the boys had been hanging out as long as they could remember, and it was only natural they walked to school together as they lived nearby- plus it was an excuse for the moms to communicate with one another.
blanked out in his thoughts, yonghee hadn't noticed his mom gesturing towards the stack of pancakes placed on the table, which he politely declined.
"no thanks mom, i'll eat something at school." he lied, seeing her smile falter wondering why he wasn't eating breakfast lately.

"sweetie are you okay? you haven't been eating that much lately and if it's because of my cooking i can-" his mom's statement was cut off by the sound of the doorbell, along with yonghee rushing to answer it.

"hyunsuk must be here, gotta go now." he said while heading towards the door. he turned around once more "and don't worry about me mom, i'm doing just fine like always! i should leave before we're late, love you" he blew a kiss to his mom as he saw her expression soften and she closed the door long after, waving goodbye to the boys.

"i heard what you said to her yong, it's not good to lie to your mom like that." hyunsuk ruffled the older's newly styled hair, despite their difference in age he was always a few inches taller than the boy which he found quite amusing.

yonghee silently patted his hair down before replying "i knoww and i don't want to lie to her either, but she already has enough on her plate she doesn't need to worry about me on top of all of it, i'll just be even more of a burden" yonghee shrugged, he meant it when he said he didn't want his mom to have to deal with his own problems, it wasn't her fault he got bullied at school and faced insecurities.

hyunsuk however frowned at his words, "don't say that, you're not a burden. and i understand if you don't want to tell her yet, but remember you always have me here and that won't ever change."

yonghee smiles at his friend's comforting words, he knew that no matter the ups and downs he faced in life, his trusted friend hyunsuk would always remain a constant for him, he was beyond grateful for that.

"same for you, let's not keep things from each other" yonghee stated as they neared the school entrance, the latter nodding in agreement. the duo said their goodbyes before going separate ways for the day, heading into their respective first period classrooms.

"time to announce the rankings of scores from our recent test." the class exclaimed in groans, yonghee hanging his head low, earning a smirk from his seatmate jinyoung.

"what's the problem freak? scared you failed again?" jinyoung whispered inaudibly so only the boy next to him was able to hear.

"no, i'm not scared anymore. i wouldn't even be surprised if i got a failing grade, that's what i am, a failure anyways." yonghee bluntly responded, giving him an are-you-satisfied look.

"aw look at you, you're finally learning what a pathetic let down you are, i'm almost proud of you." he mocked. jinyoung wasn't able to get another hateful word out before his name was called to receive his test score.

"bae jinyoung, 98% as expected, good job kid." their teacher praised him, unaware of the situation going on between him and yonghee only moments before. it baffled yonghee how someone could be so two-faced.
in front of the boy jinyoung was merciless and evil, never hesitating to put yonghee down whenever he could. on the other hand when in the presence of an adult, he seemed like a complete angel, polite, smart, respectful, all the things you'd like in a student; all the things yonghee wasnt.
but then again, who was he to judge? yonghee himself was two-faced in his own way. trying his hardest to keep a happy and joyful front in front of his mom, but barely able to hold himself together otherwise.

he shut his eyes tight, hoping it would drown out the sound of the bustling students and demanding teacher for even just a few seconds. yonghee's dad had died years ago from a car crash, so he was used to having just his mom around, but it was harder for her not having him there. as a single parent she barely had free time between her three part time jobs she took on so she could take care of yonghee, and the small family were barely passing by with that. it made him feel useless, guilty that he just stood by watching his mom suffer, for him, a lousy boy who didn't deserve it. despite being drowned in paperwork, phone calls, and lots of labor, yonghee's mom always made sure she knew how loved he was and how much she cared for him.
if there was one thing on the planet keeping him going, it would be her. knowing he couldn't exactly work while attending school, the boy diligently tried his best in school to make his mom's efforts worth it. but no matter how much he strived, studied, suffered, yonghee didn't seem good enough, which was always confirmed by a discouraging jinyoung.
he looked in disgust at the paper placed before him, "56%" it read in red ink. their teacher didn't even announce his failing marks to the students out of "respect" for yonghee, who ignored their glaring eyes.
"you can't even pass a simple test, worthless piece of shit" he mumbled to himself, burying his hands in his face. at this point jinyoung who was observing silently would have made a spiteful comment towards the boy by now if it wasn't for the ringing sound of the bell erupting through the building, cutting his time short.
while everyone got out of their seats and rushed towards their next class, yonghee sit still, millions of thoughts going through his head. he had failed many tests before this one, he had no idea why this particular score bothered him so much. perhaps it wasn't the score that made him upset, maybe it was the amount of effort he put into studying that was wasted. "what's the point" he whispered weakly, reaching to his pencil case to grab the blade he kept hidden inside it. he grabbed the sharp tool and rolled up his sleeve reluctantly, preparing to face the excruciating pain he was about to bring upon himself. he closed his eyes once again and winced, inhaling sharply as if not looking at the wound would make it all better. just as he was about to do it again, an unexpected guest came rushing towards him.
jinyoung, who had re-entered the classroom to retrieve his forgotten textbook felt his eyes widen at the sight before him. he sprinted towards yonghee's direction and grabbed his collar immediately, dragging him towards the corner of the room as the razor dropped from his hand.
"what do you think you're doing? are you crazy?" he inquired the lifeless-looking boy. he wriggled free out of jinyoung's strong hold. "maybe i am, and what are you going to do about it." he looked at yonghee in disbelief, "do you want to die??" he aimlessly asked. "what does it matter to you anyways" yonghee fired back, stepping away from the boy who was left speechless and hurrily gathered his belongings, heading towards his next destination : the rooftop.