Stay with me at dawn, hide me away at dusk

5. Rei

Dabi awoke to singing. It was soft, kind, yet haunted him like a melody from a ruin that might've been his life. Bleary-eyed, he rose from his position over the slab-that-guarded-nothing, wondering if he was the only one who was able to rob that grave. The singing was more was becoming clearer by the second, no longer a memory but a present-day tune that doubled with a cool hand in his hair, bring his everlasting temperature down to the same as the spring air around them. The first thing he noticed was the wreath of daisies that surrounded the still not melted daffodil that Shouto brought.

The second thing he saw terrified him, in a soothing way, which was a very strange feeling that would've scared him more if he had emotions.

He saw white hair streaked with barely notable silver, grey eyes lined at the edges with soft creases, and a smile that made him want to sob and exhale bile at the same time

It was all very confusing, so he simply said, 'mother' in his mind to try and get rid of the conflicting thoughts in his head, which didn't help. Her soft voice continued to surround him, wrapping him in a blanket that he hadn't held in what felt like a thousand years. He wished with every ounce of his being that this moment would never end, and he could say 'fuck you' to whatever problems looked him in the eye, because he had his 'mother' here.

But he was Dabi, and the hand retracted from his hair as soon as he blinked.

"Touya?" She questioned, and he felt. And he couldn't tell if he hated it, or loved it, or just wanted to disappear, because who was Touya again?

Not him.

He was Dabi, the raging fire that knocked heroes from there pedestals and civilians from there temples, not a man who leaked blood from the staples under his eyes in a sore attempt to cry. Which is why he most definitely did not reply with 'mother'.

"Mother?"

Life could be counterproductive sometimes.

"Hello, Touya." She said, smiling that soft smile that reached her eyes in an intelligent example of beauty. "How did you sleep?"

And for a second he was taken back, to a redhead with eyes that flickered with soft blue flames and touched with gentle hands, gaining loving caresses in turn. A small boy, vulnerable but happy, so pale in comparison to the scared figure who'd risen from the ashes and consumed an innocent soul.

Touya's drug dealer.

Also Dabi, but that was irrelevant because he was feeling happy, and happy means something had hit his funny bone and he started laughing. It wasn't the same youthful sound as Touya, it was raspy and sounded like he was dying, or hacking something up, but his mother understood and laughed with him, her tinkling laugh mingling with his and creating what he'd like to call a chalkboard melody.

"I slept just fine." He wheezed out between laughs, because it exerted just that much energy.

"Will you come back to us?" She asked, like how Fuyumi asked, but this was his mother.

"You know I can't." He answered, even though Touya screamed for his mother to come and take away the scared man, take him back, hold him tight like how she did before Shouto. But he didn't let Touya's voice ring out, because he was Dabi.

His mother just nodded, seeming oblivious to his inner turmoil. "Are you happy where you are, then?"

Dabi thinks. Is he happy? With Toga's childish ways, a female (and much more, uh, intense) version of Natsuo. With Shigaraki's behaviour, yet the way he always manages to pull them together in the end. How Spinner came with him to his grave for the first time in 7 years and held him while he cried blood from his sutures. Mr. Compress the uncle and Kurogiri the mum. Twice the dysfunctional brother, and Hawks the pet bird who preened dark thoughts like licking lollipops.

He was pretty sure his adopted family was happy. In its own sadistic, oh-look-its-blood way.

"Yeah, I'm happy." And he smiles as wide as he can, only dropping it once his one of his staples tore and he had to stick it back in. All while his mother watched in an apathy that could rival his.

Before she smiled to match his previous one. They laughed together in their mother-son chalkboard melody, and he wondered if she had been by his side all night.

But he never got the chance to ask, one of her caretakers calling from the graveyard's gate, a small, useless thing, only their for a sense of tradition and sentiment. She waved.

"Goodbye, Touya." And as she walked away, he knew that she was the only one who was allowed to call him by his name, because she was the only one who could accept who it meant. And so he raised his hand in farewell, a goodbye that might not be so permanent this time.

And so he left the graveyard in a finalising silence, like it's purpose had been fulfilled.

...

Do not ask; I do not know.

I think something hit my funny bone in the middle of this chapter, if you can't tell. I think this is all the result of writing an entire fic in one day without looking back, a truly regrettable 3/10 experience; do not recommend

What I do recommend, is writing a story when you have the mental power and actual botherness to do something. This is pain to write, even though I am.

Sometimes I do not understand why I do these things to myself

Basically, it gave me a headache