AR-131

Home Again

I tell Selene everything that happened in the ocean. I know I am too fast and too loud, but I can't help it. I've never felt so myself.

Selene nods quietly. She listens, but I can tell something is off. I pause.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I bring my voice down.

"I'm fine," she says. She turns her head away.

"What's wrong?"

"What if something happened to you?" She whips her head back to me. Tears well up in her eyes and stream down her face.

I am confused. "I don't need to breathe. We proved that I am waterproof now, so there is no need to worry."

"But what if you'd gotten hurt?" she sobs.

"I can't get hurt."

"Yes, you can!" We enter our apartment. "You might not have been waterproof. What if you hit something, and your skin ripped? What would happen!?"

I look at her for a second, searching for the correct response. I don't understand why she's acting like this. "But I'm okay."

"You left me behind!" She sits down on the couch and puts her head in her hands. Her hair falls in front of her face like a curtain, and her shoulders are shaking.

I sit down next to her and place a hand on her back. I haven't learned how to deal with this situation. I run through everything she's told me and everything I've read or seen.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't mean to."

Selene doesn't respond.

"But Selene... I love the ocean. I have to go back."

She pauses, then continues crying. I can hear her trying to speak, so I wait.

"You... you've never... that word... the ocean?" she stammers. Her voice rises until its a squeak at "ocean."

I don't understand. "What do you mean?" I ask, trying to be gentle.

She sniffs and looks at me with watery green eyes. They are puffy and rimmed with red. "I thought that... If you ever said 'love'... It would be about... Well...," she cuts herself off to swallow and sniffle again. Her breathing is ragged. "You love the ocean?"

I nod. I have trouble understanding, but I try to explain. "The ocean is the first time I ever felt free. I've been feeling more and more because of you. You work on me every day. You're so patient and understanding. Your magic is amazing. Everything you do is imbued with your spark. You have the biggest heart of any human I've met. Every time you kiss me or hold me, I'm learning. I feel. And you taught me how to feel. When I was swimming... I felt more than I've ever felt before."

Tears fall from Selene's dark cheeks onto the floor. Her eyebrows are creased up. I feel as though my words did more harm than good.

"Being— in the ocean like that... is not a human experience," Selene says. She doesn't look at me.

"I'm not human," I respond. "I belong there. I want—"

"No! You belong with me! I love you!" Selene drops her head back into her hands. The crying worsens, and for the first time, I know what hurt feels like.

"Okay, I'll stay," I whisper after a moment.

"What?"

"I'll get a job as a diver or find another option. I'll be with you and the sea. I won't leave you behind."

"Really?" she sobs.

"Yes," I nod. I wrap my arms around her and hold her. I place my head on hers and smell her hair, the comforting smell of my home.