this will be a part of us that you will never read, for you, B.
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It's always me, is it okay? I understand how you feel. Why do you keep thinking about being a soul in solitude? Do you ever feel the cold heat pervading your skin? My lungs are more empty than before and I can't breathe with the cobwebs.
You keep being afraid, of who you are, of who you have become.
You are scared, I know, and me too.
We spent a part of our lives together, but I'm terrified to not hear your voice, to be unable to see you anymore.
I miss you so much. I have a damned need to feel you again, to tie to something that I don't have next to me.
You hide from everyone, denying you need someone, but I feel these,
your chills. They come up to the bones. They scream in silence, gently.
Your body is cold, fragile. Miles of skin cover what you want to hide.
Remove your hands from over your eyes. Do it for me, I need it.
I feel a pressure in the trachea: every day it makes itself feel harsher.
Everything will return as it was before, as we had always desired.
Do you see my bones? The cracks they have? I touch them up to to feel pain: I hope that's all in my mind, but I know they will stay.
Don't cry for me, because it's not worth it.
Answer me.
Tell me that you have the dark in your eyes, too.
I know you want to leave, but please don't keep your life distant from me.
I'd miss you too much. You are a ghost to everyone you know. You didn't touch their souls, but you said you were fine, slowly losing your light.
Please, remove your hands from over your eyes. Do it for me, I need it.
Look at me and tell me you care, that you never gave up. What are your plans for tonight?
I have no intention to leave you until we both see the light.
I will listen to you all day, I will do it, I won't give up. I won't stop sending you what I have left. I will convert your words in essence. If you ever come back to me tell me you'll be there and promise me you will stay.
I will listen to the noise of my bones and I will dedicate it to you.
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