Asphodels (Valdangelo)

Ignorance is bliss

I'm messing up the timeline, because I can't actually remember when each thing happened, but anyway, Anabeth and Percy haven't fallen yet. But they will very soon, so this is your official heads up!

It takes a while for Leo to actually talk about the boy who's killing him, and only because Nico has trouble sleeping, and walked the length of the Argo II to find himself at the engine room; it's not the first time he's gone there, as Leo spends the better half of the day inside, but it's the first time he's found Leo there at night.

It happens because nightmares are common amongst demigods, more often than not being visions rather than simple dreams, so hearing someone wake up from one is normal enough, particularly for Nico, who couldn't sleep; but it's followed by violent coughing and he instantly knows it's Leo, and moves before he can stop to really think about it. By the time he gets in Leo's throwing a bucketful of what has to be bloody petals into a machine that functions by fire.

He turns to Nico like he was expecting him, which, given how he entered the room, isn't very surprising. Leo sighs and drags two rectangular shapes Nico can't name taking the one closest to the fire machine, and making a motion towards the other; Nico take the invitation curiously.

"How likely is it that I'm sharing dreams with someone?"

Leo's voice is raspy but soft, like he's handling something fragile, like a prayer; and Nico feels something start building in the pit of his stomach.

"Very"

Leo nods, and wipes his mouth and hands on a blood dyed rag.

"I've been learning a lot about him from his nightmares, and I wanted some confirmation that those were real" 

He brushes his hair away from his forehead, looking pale, and like he gets about as much sleep as Nico, which isn't good.

"What did you learn?"

He's not sure why he asks, but Leo looks away from him as a fond smile forms on his lips, features softening; the thing in Nico's stomach starts coiling. Unaware of that, Leo takes the bucket into his hands again, and starts talking.

"He's a fighter, he's gone through so much bullshit, both human and divine, but he still helps others, still puts his life at risk to fix things"

The hands around the bucket clench, and Nico feels as though his whole body's gone asleep and there's nothing but needles.

"But he's also like me, fearful, guilt-ridden, and so fucking exhausted; too fucking tired for someone that young, never mind someone that good"

Leo stops then, sighing, and Nico almost follows suit, insides now knotted tightly, throat dry. He watches as Leo's expression shifts into one of surprise, hand brushing at his throat for a moment before he lets out a breathy chuckle.

"This is the longest I've thought about him without chocking"

Nico tries to be happy, because this means something changed for the better, and he does manage to smile as he congratulates Leo and somehow gets himself away from the room; but his insides are twisted, his throat like sandpaper, and his eyes burning.

He pushes it aside for as long as he can, or he tries to, but Leo's his friend now, and he doesn't know why Nico's suddenly colder towards him; so he does things he thinks will cheer Nico up, because obviously he's going through a rough time. It doesn't help one bit, not when he keeps being reminded of how close they are, how Leo will make time between piloting, making sure the Argo II doesn't go down under them, and another hundred things he's in charge of, in order to cook for Nico, or worse, build him things.

Nico sighs as he looks onto the small cloth pouch that was left on his bedside table, the room he's sleeping on wasn't meant for him, but it had been unused when he got there; inside the pouch is a small sphere of dark grey metal with a single much lighter silver line dividing it in halves. A little playing around shows the two halves rotate in opposing directions, and when Nico pushes them all the way the sphere turns into a silver dagger with a dark grey handle.

The rush of emotion he feels right then is nothing short of staggering, as he's hit with an overdue epiphany that explains his entire reaction to Leo talking softly about the boy he's in love with. The answer? Nico hates himself.

Really, two boys he's had crushes on, and both of them in love with someone else; clearly he's torturing himself. But it's different because, unlike with the whole Percy ordeal, Leo's special someone is a blind idiot who doesn't even know what he's doing; and Nico is so fucking jealous of him, because he's gone and fallen for Leo.

It isn't surprising, not really, not when Nico stops and actually acknowledges how close he is to Leo, how much he trusts the son of Hephaestus, with both Hazel and himself; and he knows Leo trusts him too, which just makes things worse, because Nico can't pull away without ruining one of the few good things he still has.

He still intends to help Leo, because he refuses to watch him die from something like this, so he tries to swallow it down; ignore it again, even when his first try ended in failure. So when they start making plans for seeing the god of medicine, Nico kind of plans a visit of his own, he knows the others are focused on the prophecy, and will only ask for what they need to get closer to bringing Gaea down and saving the world; but he's not one of the seven, and nothing says he can't get a head start to the god and maybe find out a way to save Leo Valdez.

His mind catches up to him later, traitorously reminding him of how Leo had looked when talking about his curse giver, suggesting that even if Nico's successful Leo wouldn't take the cure. He doesn't know what he does to merit being turned into a plant, but he doesn't know a lot of what happens after that either; and maybe it's better that way.