Coming back to life

Clouded Emotions - Part 1

Oh hey guys!

I couldn't wait until wednesday:P sorry! Well here you go the third chapter. Please comment and vote for this! I'd love to hear what you think. ]

the title of this is very drab I know! I couldn't think of any others. If you think of any when you read it, lemme know!!!!

Oh and there are two songs for this you can try, one is Greenday's Wake me up when September ends and the Band Perry's If I die young.

Thank you!!!

--Veiled_Flames/ Kshira

As I stood at the edge of the cliff. The wind in my hair. No sound but the wind howling. I looked around hoping to see someone. I looked at the ground laying a thousand feet below. If I jumped, would anyone but the ground be there to catch me?

Would anyone even care if I died? Who would come to my funeral? Why would they? All I was was another classmate. Another girl. Another junior. Another person.

I looked around again. A stray tear fell down my cheek. Before I realized it, another followed and another and suddenly I was a blubbering mess. I sat down on the coarse sand. A sharp stone jabbed into my leg. I bent to remove it. I touched my leg trying to trace the stone and next thing I knew, I was plummeting to the sweet embrace of the ground.

Strangely, I wasn't scared. I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy. I was relieved. Relieved I didn't have to deal with the routine of my life anymore. Relieved I didn't have to deal with the whole ritual of getting people to like me, being judged for where I came from. Trying to breeze though life like it was nothing.

You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you die. I saw everything. My best friend hugging me. Me hugging the love of my life. Him walking out of my life. My best friend becoming a new person. Me being left alone.

I shut my eyes, trying to block these out. I wanted my last moments to be of serenity and peace.

We all have secrets. We have our guilty pleasures, things we cant tell anyone. Things we are ashamed of telling anyone scared of what their thoughts will do to our image of these things. Have you ever wondered why? The friend you've had for years suddenly seems to be walking away. The best friend of 13 years seems like someone you can't talk to. The friend you've counted on through your toughest times can't be counted on anymore.

The worst part is that these things are the best and the worst things to happen to you but you can't talk about them. Not because they shame you, but because they are yours. Completely.

Something that has always perplexed me about people is how they can be so blind. How something staring them in the face isn't apparent to them? How it is so easy to turn your back on to your so-called best friend? Why, even though you try so hard, you just aren't good enough?

I also had my hopes. I hoped that one day my best friend would turn around and accept me again and we could have the same relationship we shared for all those years. I hoped that the guy I had fallen so hard for responded. I hoped that the guy I fell for fell for me as hard as I did. I hoped my best friend would help my feel better about myself like I did for all those years before. I hoped the we could talk about everything that we hadn't told each other yet and cry and still be there the next day. I hoped that the guy I fell for wasn't like all the others. I hoped and hoped and hoped. And there I was plummeting to the first hug I had gotten in years, and this may well have been the last.

Everyone had some expectations of me. I was sick of not living up to these expectations. I was tired of fighting for what belonged to me. I was just tired. Now I could rest for eternity.